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I have been to numerous web sites but they all say to fix it in disk manager. I just need to format it and make the memory available for storage.
They're giving you the correct advice if you can see it in Disk Management. ;)
There can be issues with this new disk depending on the way that it was formatted in its previous life. I'm guessing that you have formatted this disk in the past otherwise Windows would pop up a formatting wizard for you immediately after hooking up the new hardware.
There is a very detailed guide to disk management on the MS site: Windows XP Professional Resource Kit: Disk Management [microsoft.com]
You might want to read through there and see whether you can recognize your problem.
If you can see the disk from DOS then booting from a floppy and using FDISK would be one option. Another idea would be to try some partitioning software to see if it can recognize the drive.
I believe its set to "slave" (how can i be sure?.
This is normally set by the jumper on the back of the hard drive. You have three positions: master, slave and cs (cable select). Take the drive out, and check carefully.
Check your BIOS settings. The second drive should be recognised by the BIOS, but may also be disabled in the BIOS, check that also.
Matt