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I have just checked that and it is checked so why is it saying sending mail when it is not?
It is not. It is just going through the standard routine of Sending and Receiving on startup. You can deactivate the Send/Receive on startup function but there typically is no need to do this.
Anytime the Send/Receive is activated, it is going to go through the Sending/Receiving routine for each account until done, whether there is anything to send or receive.
whilst i know that email does a standard send and recieve this actually says "sending 1 of 5 as an example.
Go into your options and turn off the Send/Receive on startup. Open Outlook, go to your Outbox, are there any messages there? Typically Outlook is only going to show progress on sending messages if there are any messages being sent.
What version of Outlook?
What version of Windows?
P.S. Do you have any spyware utilities running? When is the last time you scanned for spyware?
Ok now i think i may an issue, i just noted an email that was trying to be sent by my email program, but was interupted by my anti virus software, and was not in my sent items or outbox. Any ideas?
That come to mind immediately? How about Spyware or some sort of virus maybe? I'd use an online virus scanner in addition to what you have installed. Same goes for the Spyware.