I think that no one is answering your question here because it is so very particular to your account - and none of us here can see the account information that would be required to answer it.
I'd suggest that you contact AdWords support regarding this. Assuming that you have received an email from them on this subject, I would simply reply to that email and detail your questions and concerns - being very specific about what is happening, why you think it shouldn't be happening, what part of their previous answers did not make sense, and so on.
(Having been a part of AdWords support for the past 4 1/2 years I can say from personal experience that a very common reason for an 'insufficient answer' is that the questions requiring answers have just not been made clear.)
AWA
I am "faced with similar problems."
First of all, the adult classification is for your site, which is appropriate because it's adult dating. Therefore, making your ads "family safe" makes little difference because the destination of the ad is still classified as adult.
I also promote adult dating sites and have been through all of this with Google ages ago. I was told that if a keyword search brings up mainly adult results (serps and ads), then your ad will be shown. If however, most results for a given keyword search are non-adult then no, your ad will generally not be shown.
So you may notice that your ads are still showing (provided your bid is the minimum required), just at a lower frequency than you'd like. I remember when I first started promoting my adult dating site I was getting huge amounts of traffic with great results. But once google slapped the Adult Classification on me the impressions went way, way down. I know that I am only getting a trickle of the available searches now but hey, what can ya do?
What can ya do....
Well, one thing I will suggest is choosing as many adult keywords as you can. Because if someone searches for an explicit keyword then there is a much better chance your ad will show. So arrange keywords that contain the word s** or other relevent terms. This means you are still losing out on impressions for those high traffic broad terms but it might help.
The other option might be to make some changes to your site. How can an adult dating site not be classified as adult? Lose the nudity and the offending words. May not be possible for all sites but it's something to think about.
Best of Luck!
