Hi MsMisfit, and welcome back to the forum. In your description of what you used to do when doing SEO, and your goal of finding keyword and linking tools now, it sounds like you want to use more or less the same strategies again...
Back in the day, I did A LOT of content/KW strategy and backlinks (remember reciprocal link exchanges :/ ?)
If you're thinking of trying link exchanges with current algorithms, let me suggest that Google's onto them. ;)
I'm looking for a way to see both primary and long tail KW phrases we are ranking for.
As phranque posted, that doesn't exist as a Google search operator.
Back in Aug 2018, I responded to some similar questions, also about Google search operators, and I think my answer will probably apply here as well. See my long post in this thread... Any cheat sheet list of google operators for prospecting clients?
Aug, 2018 https://www.webmasterworld.com/webmaster/4913803.htm
You should read my answer in detail, but to summarize here regarding current search operators...
- the "link" operator no longer exists, for obvious reasons...
- the available keyword tools aren't very granular, and they are particularly useless in longtail keywords
- most tools are now bundled as parts of suites, and the metrics most suites use are not the same as Google metrics. They're often not even measuring something similar to what Google's looking for.
Searching in Google and looking carefully at what and why something ranks for a query is more useful than any tool.
There was a time when keyword to keyword links were enough to suggest relevancy. Now, if you search for apples and oranges, depending on the context, Google may assume you're searching for "fruit". Google may also give searchers a chance to check results in a SERP to advise whether or not they require, say, a specific word in a compound search. Google is currently putting a lot into rewriting queries, and if your traffic changes, a change in query interpretation, perhaps on other sites, may be what's changing.
Anyway, much of SEO is different since the good old days. I recommend some reading in the forums to fill in some of those missing years.