Google Sitemap - Very Large Site

[dunhill]

I have a very large site, I have tried all of the windows tools, and online tools but none of them seem to work. I have tried all of them on Gogles website, 3rd Party tools.

The ones that seems to crawl my entire site run for days and never complete, the other complete but only provide a very high level sitemap, they don't crawl all of the way into my site, they produce a xml file with a couple of hundred lines, very high level.

One of the tools that seems to be popular with people (GSite&^*$&) I left to run for 2 days, it crawled 40,000 pages and says its about 50% complete, the performance get gradually worse.

What do people use on very very large sites?

Thank you