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* Does pushing the lift button more than once make it arrive faster?
* Why do we press the remote control buttons harder when the batteries are running low?
* How come all pictures if Adam & Eve show they have belly buttons when they weren’t born?
* Why do we talk louder to foreigners?
* Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, I"I think I'll
squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
* Who was the first person to say “See that chicken there....I’m going to eat the next thing that comes out of it’s butt.”
* Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a
horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
* Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
* Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
* Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
* What do you call male ballerinas?
* Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?
* If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why
didn’t he just buy dinner?
* If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
* If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
* If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
* Isn’t Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?
* Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the
same tune?
* Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
* Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a haemorrhoid when it’s in your arse?
* Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he can’t wait to stick his head out the window into the wind?
* Does pushing the lift button more than once make it arrive faster?
* Why do we press the remote control buttons harder when the batteries are running low?
* Why do we repeat questions with the word "button" in them? :)
Reviving some old, old, old favorites:
Why do we park on driveways and walk on parkways?
Why is it that when you transport something by car or truck it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
Why are there braille dots on the DRIVE-UP ATM?
Why is there an Interstate highway in HAWAII?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
And my all-time favorite . . . my motto . . . .
If a tree falls in the forest and there's no woman there to hear it, is the man still wrong?
If a tree falls in the forest and there's no woman there to hear it, is the man still wrong?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
