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The popular news satire web site "DeadBrain" today announced a major expansion into a new area of business: that of hosting web sites. Introducing the new service, Managing Director Gregory T Mullet promised to be completely honest with his customers. "DEADhost is about more than providing a high-cost, low-quality service – it's about being honest about it, too," he said. "Our servers are a pile of junk, our connections are slower than a Little Chef waitress and our uptime is miniscule. That's perfectly normal in the web-hosting world – the difference with us is that we're admitting to it. I think that's a world first."
When asked about the commercial potential of the business, Mr Mullet was optimistic. "I realise that some customers may be put off by our promised lack of service, but look at it this way: we can hardly get any worse than what we say. Any improvements we do make are a bonus," he answered. "We do have an absolute commitment to a lack of customer service, so hopefully our commitment and dedication will win us some respect."
The reaction from DEADhost's competitors has been muted.
Come on now hands up!
They even run an optional email service for this hosting firm giving you (faked) hosting warnings.
Their tech support is beautifully lousy - last time I called, I spent twelve delightful hours on hold listening to "Old McDonald Had A Farm," played on a kazoo.
Of course, all these fun features pale in comparison to the performance of the server when it's actually running. Just last week I managed to wait the eighteen minutes for the server to load up my "Hello World" PHP page, only to have the pleasure of finding that PHP support was turned off for the day and the code itself was printed to the browser. This, of course, is even more fun when a hacker manages to get one of my customer-management pages to load, thereby getting to read the MySQL database information in plain text.
The fees for this incredible entertainment are very reasonable; just $99.95/month for your 10MB disk space. Naturally bandwidth is extra, billed at $5.00/MB. This of course is not much strain on the pocketbook, since their downtime guarantees minimal use of bandwidth. Quite considerate of them to think of their customers when deciding on pricing options.
I must confess to being a little displeased with their domain transfer policies, though. I'd only had my new domain for a week before, without consulting me, they approved a transfer to a confidential law firm in Nigeria.
Their e-mail service is uncharacteristically consistent. One can always get one's e-mail. Even this has its upside, though. Somehow, about a million spammers got hold of that e-mail address, so I'm always sure of having something to read.
All in all, DeadHost is a superb host and I'd recommend them to anybody!
Boy, do I have too much time on my hands or what? ;)
Brilliant :D Haven't laughed so hard in yonks.
