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TESTICULATING
Waving your arms around and talking B*ll*cks.
BLAMESTORMING.
Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a
project failed, and who was responsible.
SEAGULL MANAGER.
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and
then leaves.
ASSMOSIS.
The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by
sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.
SALMON DAY.
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get
screwed and die.
CUBE FARM.
An office filled with cubicles.
PRAIRIE DOGGING.
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's
heads pop up over the walls to see that's going on. (This also applies to
applause from a promotion because there may be cake.)
MOUSE POTATO.
The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
SITCOMs.
Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into
when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with
the kids or start a "home business".
XEROX SUBSIDY.
Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE.
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to
work again.
ADMINISPHERE.
The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and file.
Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often profoundly
inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" needless
paperwork and processes.
404.
Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not
Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.
WOOFies.
Well Off Older Folk.
OHNOSECOND
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realise that you've just made
a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all')
[edited by: lawman at 10:59 am (utc) on Sep. 13, 2004]
Indeed, I recall writing a (mildly!) humourous article on the workplace - back in late '98 - in which I used the majority of these; they, like the ones quoted below, were neither my creations, nor new.
Looking through that article again though there were some other gems that, although oft bandied about in the past, may appear fresh to a new audience...then again, perhaps not...
Comments from Employee Appraisals:
* "I would not allow this employee to breed..."
* "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot!"
* "When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there."
* "This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more a definitely won't be."
* "Works well when under constant supervision like a rat in a trap."
* "He would be out of his depth in a puddle."
* This person has delusions of adequacy."
* "He sets low personal standards and fails to reach them."
* "This employee should go far - and the sooner the better."
* "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."
And my favourite...
* "His men follow him anywhere, but only out of a sense of morbid curiosity."
Even today I still tell my boss that he was unfair in saying these things about me ;-)
Syzygy
Oops just noticed it's in Syzygy's list!
STRESS PUPPY:
A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
SWIPEOUT:
An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
IRRITAINMENT:
Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example. Bill Clinton's Grand Jury testimony is another.
GENERICA:
Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, subdivisions.
Estrogenator
Woman who is always stressed and naty (even if ther isn't any work). Ruthless and unforgiving, she tends to have very unfrequente "visits" from her boyfriend. Note: Very, very unfortunate if you work next to one or underneath one. ;)
dot snot
A young person with an arrogant and self-important manner because he or she has become rich by creating a dot com company.
entreprenerd
A person with programming, engineering, or other technical skills who builds an online business around a product created with those skills.
