Patents Pending?

What are you going to patent today?

[john_k]

Okay, in lite of the latest "how in the hell did they patent that?" discussion (see [webmasterworld.com...] ), I thought it would be a good idea to get some of our own ideas out there. What patents have YOU been working on?

Here's one I've been working on for several years

PATENT NAME: Process for hardware free support of telecommunications equipment to facilitate multi-tasking in any environment.

YOU KNOW IT AS: Holding a phone to my ear with my shoulder.

I know there are other prospective block-buster patents lurking in my head, but it's midnight and I'm tired. Anyway, what about it everyone - What are you going to patent today?(tm)

[edit_g]

lol - I'll play.

PATENT NAME: Method for investigating, identifying and repairing electronic devices by percussive maintenance.

YOU KNOW IT AS: Punching your computer when it won't work.

[Imaster]

Here's the latest one,
Amazon patents use of cookies
[webmasterworld.com...]

LOL

[encyclo]

I've just patented my wonderful idea for a sort of electronic "bulletin board" system, where people can leave messages and questions and others can answer. I've searched on the internet, and there are several places where my patent is being used without my permission, most particularly on this site [webmasterworld.com]. There are even messages on that particular site which are specifically trying to denigrate patents and thus devalue my intellectual property for example on this page [webmasterworld.com].

Please note that I will be taking legal action shortly against all those who are challenging my right to patent my ideas.

Licences are, of course, available at the very reasonable price of $699 per site.

[trillianjedi]

PATENT NAME : Biochemical method of renewing human tissue cells and improving energy efficiency and concentration levels in adults and children.

YOU KNOW IT AS : Sleep.

You guys owe me one hell of a lot of money (I take cheques and AdWords vouchers).

TJ

[encyclo]

Sleep

I'm the father of a six-month-old baby. I therefore stopped using your patented technology six months ago. In consequence, I do not feel your claim is justified.

However, taking into account your post count, you're high up on my list!

;)

[trillianjedi]

Maybe, but I am able under international law to backdate my claim for the last seven years, so that's 6.5/7ths of a whole lot of money you owe me.

However, in view of my aforesaid post count, on a strictly without prejudice basis, I would be prepared to settle the matter on a "you drop yours and I'll drop mine basis".

Claims that is, not trousers or anything.

TJ

[creative craig]

LOL :)

[pmkpmk]

PATENT NAME : Biochemical method of renewing human tissue cells and improving energy efficiency and concentration levels in adults and children.

Prior act:

PATENT NAME: Biochemical method of creating human tissue cells and improving relaxation ad joy in (hopefully only) adults.

YOU KNOW IT AS: ... a three letter word.

[trillianjedi]

Prior Act:

PATENT NAME: Biochemical method of degrading human tissue cells but improving relaxation and joy in (hopefully only) adults.

YOU KNOW IT AS: ... a four letter word (beer).

Note to Patent Office:-

Often followed by an infringement of pmkpmk's above patent, although in such circumstances I would dispute the "joy" element he refers to. Particularly 8 hours or so later following exercise of my earlier patent.

TJ

[limbo]

LMAO!

PATENT NAME: The motion of verbal or physical communication rendering both or one party within a state of temporary and surprisingly potent paralyisis and inabality to function outside of the moment.

YOU KNOW IT AS: The Giggles

[atadams]

The craziest is the patenting of genes. Companies can patent genetic code that is in every one of us.

Crazy.

[atadams]

And don't forget patent 6,368,227 [patft.uspto.gov]

[Leosghost]

Overheard in US Gov building...
scene ..webmasters office ...

" HEYYYYY ...BOSSSSS ...We just got over 6000 hits on the most unlikely page here ......anyone know why ...?

[photon]

Lastly, it should be noted that because pulling alternately on one chain and then the other resembles in some measure the movements one would use to swing from vines in a dense jungle forest, the swinging method of the present invention may be referred to by the present inventor and his sister as "Tarzan" swinging. The user may even choose to produce a Tarzan-type yell while swinging in the manner described, which more accurately replicates swinging on vines in a dense jungle forest. Actual jungle forestry is not required.

[grelmar]

PATENT NAME: Method for producing combustion inducing heat source through the percussive friction of common ferrous metals and a specific quartzite composite material.

Making fire by banging flint and steele together.

Mankind owes me big time.

[troels nybo nielsen]

PATENT NAME: Method for providing input from one entity into another.

Methinks that covers pretty much anything. Palaver finish.