Forum Moderators: open
buy a fortrace spec re-enforced door
Hide any evidence of ever having had a phone line. (train a cat or dog to lie in front of the socket)
Swap door number and name plate with your next door neighbour. That might hold them of for a little while.
When (not if) then come to your door simply reply "no speakey des English"
Look on the bright side, you might get let out for good behaviour.
Mack.