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UPS also has a strong union. If Santa's Elves ever tried to cut in on their action, there would be a lot of Elves named Bob in the Arctic Sea. After all, Christmas is one of the most important times of the year for UPS. If some big fat guy starts offering free delivery, he would be taken out immediately.
Wanna know why UPS drivers wear brown? Simple answer. Camoflage. With driver's delivering packages every day, UPS drivers are in much better shape than any Elves sitting on their rear making toys all year long. Not only that, you know there packing some big guns in that truck. Santa Claus and the Elves wearing bright green and red and sitting on their ____ all year long wouldn't stand a chance against strong men wearing camo and packin.
No siree! No free deliveries going on with UPS around!
Christmas 2006:
Santa makes one final push for free delivery of presents. After losing nearly half his Elves, he is driven back to the Arctic Circle. UPS intercepts the presents and begins delivering everyting COD and signature required.
Christmas 2009:
Google figures out a way to send presents through the internet to kids. Google allows free submissions by kids to shopping engines. UPS surrounds Googleplex with a sea of brown trucks and men in brown packin heat. Google reveals it's new BattleBot and destoys the forces in Brown.
Christmas 2010:
Google unveils SantaBot which crawls all the kids computers across the World and sends them kids presents based on their surfing habits. Because of the Google Toolbar, SantaBot will instantly know who's been naughty and who's been nice!
(No offense to UPS, Santa Clause or Google who have all provided great service over the years)
