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"You people know a lot about computers, right?"
"Well, will you please help me? I want to change the background on my husband's computer"
"Sure... Right-click on the background"
---(a moment passes)
"Now choose Properties"
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Right-click on the desktop... the background of your computer"
---(a moment passes)
"I am writing click, but I don't see any letters on the screen."
I don't know, maybe it was a joke? Didn't seem to be, when I explained a Right-click, she got through it fine. And she seemed to be very sweet.
Kudos to me... I didn't laugh until I had hung up the phone.
Maybe I'll find out later it was some one I know trying to brighten my day.
I work in a call center environment and have been in simlar situations where you really need to not laugh.. but the more you try not to the harder it becomes to resits. Im sure thats why the "hold" button was invented :)
My own personal opening sentence for a call ....your incompetence is my job security, how can I help? I have never said it but I would love to on my last day!
Eventualy the operator asked the customer to make sure the Monitor was plugged into the power.
Cust "OK, hang on while a get a candle."
Supp "Candle? What do you need a candle for?"
Cust "We are in the middle of an electrical blackout."
you can imagine the rest.
He asked the lady to close all windows using the X button on the right hand side of the screen. Our lady complained that she wasn't able to do it because her mouse was at the right end of the mouse pad and the cursor was still at the center of the monitor!
Exasperated, my friend asked her to lift the mouse and place it at the left side of the mouse pad and move sideways again towards the X button.
Last heard, he was looking for a change in job.
"OK, I need you to hold down the apple key and --- OK, I said the apple key . . . the apple key . . . the APPLE key . . . the APPLE KEY, the key with AN APPLE ON IT . . . just hold for a bit, OK?" I asked to signup for the account, and he had me sign the sheet. He put his head in his hands and took about 4 deep breaths before picking up the phone. "Did you find the apple key? . . . the APPLE key"
It's 8 years later, and I still wonder if the caller ever found the apple key.
At the time I was in college, the only Macs they had were the old machines where the screen was built onto the CPU. And now I can't remember if they had the apple key or not.
All makes me incredibly glad I don't work in customer service... when someone starts off with, "You people know a lot about computers," you know it's all downhill from there. heeheheh
The only person I do phone support for is my mother... we have a long family tradition of not being diplomatic with each other when we don't want to, so I can actually say, "Shut up, get your hand OFF the mouse, and listen to me!" Wouldn't go over well in a call center.
"pack up your computer and send it back to the following address, and we will refund your money, because you are to stupid to own a computer!"
I've got a few of those. I'm then told about their latest problem with WindowsXP, Win98 or such like. I don't use Windows, and haven't done support on it since WinNT. So I usually look blank and say that I don't know the answer because I don't use Windows.
And then have to smile nicely when people complain I don't know anything about computers. (Do these people ask a vet to treat their sons bad cough?)
New Scientist magazine had a back page column with readers contributions on this topic that ran for a few months, including the mentioned AT(M) machine and the PI(N) number.
Can't remember any more of them quickly but there are plenty of acronyms where the last letter is used again as a separate word.
 found some info on this here [nanday.com].[/edit]