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Google Gulp

April Fool

     
8:17 am on Apr 1, 2005 (gmt 0)

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[google.com...]

Think a DNA scanner embedded in the lip of your bottle reading all 3 gigabytes of your base pair genetic data in a fraction of a second, fine-tuning your individual hormonal cocktail in real time using our patented Auto-Drink™ technology, and slamming a truckload of electrolytic neurotransmitter smart-drug stimulants past the blood-brain barrier to achieve maximum optimization of your soon-to-be-grateful cerebral cortex.

Scott

8:33 am on Apr 1, 2005 (gmt 0)

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New! Google Gulp - quench your thirst for knowledge

Google Gulp [google.co.uk]

11:02 am on Apr 1, 2005 (gmt 0)

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7. How can I get my hands on a Google Gulp?
This "limited release" beta product is available to anyone who turns in a used Google Gulp bottle cap at any local retailer. If you don't have any Gulp caps, ask a friend to give you one.

8. What if none of my friends have a Gulp cap to give me? Can't you just give Google Gulp to anyone who wants it?

Well, we're thinking about it, but, um, you have to understand that there are many considerations which go into deciding how to distribute --

9. Isn't this whole invite-only thing kind of bogus?

Dude, it's like you've never even heard of viral marketing.

hehe

TJ

11:59 am on Apr 1, 2005 (gmt 0)

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what is google gulp. can somebody there enlighten me more about this
12:05 pm on Apr 1, 2005 (gmt 0)

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Google gulp is a refreshing drink. Seems they are sending out samples to a select few individuals who lost their home page on Feb 2 - likely as compensation.

I received a six-pack late yesterday.

<added>
I just went out and got another six pack and am gulping it down. Makes me feel great!

[edited by: sailorjwd at 12:08 pm (utc) on April 1, 2005]

12:06 pm on Apr 1, 2005 (gmt 0)

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>what is google gulp.

A right fine fine April 1 spoof, that's what it be.
Thanks for pointing out the path to this giggle. Tis good to start today with a good laugh.

12:26 pm on Apr 1, 2005 (gmt 0)

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The guys at Google clearly have too much time on their hands....
12:37 pm on Apr 1, 2005 (gmt 0)

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At any rate, you should be aware that by popping the seal on the twist-off Gulp cap, you send a wireless signal to Google's servers indicating your irrevocable acceptance of the Google Gulp Terms and Conditions, which do include the possibility, however remote, of hideous genetic mutation resulting from your consumption of this product.

Looks like they have updated Adsense T&C again. Eagerly waiting for a run down on this update, Jen...

12:47 pm on Apr 1, 2005 (gmt 0)

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yes but ...

don't you remember gmail was launched on april 1st last year (the sign up page was anyway) - took less than a year to go fully live.

how long till this one goes live? any bets this side of 2030?

1:10 pm on Apr 1, 2005 (gmt 0)

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That reminds me, did anyway get a job at the Googlunaplex [google.com] last year?
1:13 pm on Apr 1, 2005 (gmt 0)

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If you look closely at the Google Gulp! Auto-Drink feature, it sure looks a lot like the notorious Microsoft SmartGulps feature that MS had to pull from their smart drink a couple of years ago.

I can't believe G is trying to get away with something so similar.

2:02 pm on Apr 1, 2005 (gmt 0)

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Does anyone else get tired of these dull, cheesy, inplausable April Fool's jokes that Google seems intent on releasing?

In order for an April Fool's joke to work, it has to be plausible. I fear that this day is being ruined by money, it's more of a silly marketing exercise these days.

2:05 pm on Apr 1, 2005 (gmt 0)

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This is total BS!
For the past 5 years Glutamate Grape was at the top of the shelves. Today? Nowhere to be found! The store manager claims he did nothing that would have changed it's positions.

I did notice a poster in the foyer of the store that advertises a related competitor (though not a direct competitor) in a bad neighborhood. My favorite store is in a pretty nice neighborhood.

I was searching around the store for my Glutamate Grape and guess where it was? In the sandbox that the store provides customers as a sort of day care for children while the parents shop.

I am outraged!

2:32 pm on Apr 1, 2005 (gmt 0)

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These parts cracked me up...

Maybe we're jaded, but we've seen all these other companies leap headlong into 1.0, thinking their product is exactly what they've been dreaming of all their lives, that everything is perfect and hunky-dory – and the next thing you know some vanilla copycat release from Redmond is kicking their butt

5. Well, shouldn't Auto-Drink™ be default-off?

You mean we should cripple a perfectly useful feature just because of a little bad PR?

:)

Mack.

3:01 pm on Apr 1, 2005 (gmt 0)

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Wow! this a a well designed line of beverages!

If this was really to be marketed, it would make millions!

Give it a few years and we might have this for real
(along with "Soylent Google" ;-) )

3:01 pm on Apr 1, 2005 (gmt 0)

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Does anyone else get tired of these dull, cheesy, inplausable April Fool's jokes that Google seems intent on releasing?
In order for an April Fool's joke to work, it has to be plausible. I fear that this day is being ruined by money, it's more of a silly marketing exercise these days.

Just for an April Fool's Day joke, Google should scramble their SERPs for a day. Make them totally random. :P

At least unpredictable Google SERPs are plausible.

3:04 pm on Apr 1, 2005 (gmt 0)

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How can you ruin April Fool's day by being silly? o_O
3:24 pm on Apr 1, 2005 (gmt 0)

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11. When will you take Google Gulp out of beta?

Man, if you pressure us, you just drive us away. We'll commit when we're ready, okay? Besides, what's so great about taking things out of beta? It ruins all the romance, the challenge, the possibilities, the right to explore. Carpe diem, ya know? Maybe we're jaded, but we've seen all these other companies leap headlong into 1.0, thinking their product is exactly what they've been dreaming of all their lives, that everything is perfect and hunky-dory – and the next thing you know some vanilla copycat release from Redmond is kicking their butt, the Board is holding emergency meetings and the CEO is on CNBC blathering sweatily about "a new direction" and "getting back to basics." No thanks, man. We like our freedom.

Now I know why Adsense EFT is in beta.

3:50 pm on Apr 1, 2005 (gmt 0)

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Gmail has some good offers today [gmail.com...]
3:59 pm on Apr 1, 2005 (gmt 0)

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I was searching around the store for my Glutamate Grape and guess where it was? In the sandbox that the store provides customers as a sort of day care for children while the parents shop.

At least you found it. I am from Egypt and I have to wait for ages until it is released in stores :(

5. Well, shouldn't Auto-Drink™ be default-off?

You mean we should cripple a perfectly useful feature just because of a little bad PR?

How silly can they get. The next PR update will be in hours and I bet that this page will be at least PR9 and be in the top result for "Google Gulp" (well, if not sandboxed).

It seems like Google have no SEO specialists in their team!

--mOftary

4:03 pm on Apr 1, 2005 (gmt 0)

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Also, a lot of search related product releases today:

Yahoo! Slacker: [ysearchblog.com...]
MSN Search Spoof: [msnsearchspoof.com...]
The Jeeves9000 (beta): [blog.ask.com...]

4:23 pm on Apr 1, 2005 (gmt 0)

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Apparently there is another flavor that is not listed!
4:44 pm on Apr 1, 2005 (gmt 0)

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MSN wins the April fools thing handily.
5:50 pm on Apr 1, 2005 (gmt 0)

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>>>what is google gulp.

>>A right fine fine April 1 spoof, that's what it be.

are you sure?
like, REALLY sure?

be afraid .......... be VERY afraid ..........
:)

6:57 pm on Apr 1, 2005 (gmt 0)

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a DNA scanner embedded in the lip of your bottle reading all 3 gigabytes of your base pair genetic data in a fraction of a second, fine-tuning your individual hormonal cocktail in real time using our patented Auto-Drink technology...

...then producing "a cupful of liquid that is almost, but not entirely, unlike tea".

Will Google one day become the Sirius Cybernetic Corporation?

8:09 pm on Apr 1, 2005 (gmt 0)

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Will Google one day become the Sirius Cybernetic Corporation?

Good one. The scary thing is similarities are staggering..

1:09 am on Apr 2, 2005 (gmt 0)

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I think I saw a couple of Ebay auctions for these caps at over $15k!
1:27 am on Apr 2, 2005 (gmt 0)

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Just for an April Fool's Day joke, Google should scramble their SERPs for a day. Make them totally random

Just looked at a large site using "site:widget.com"

About 3/2rds of the first 1,000 pages ( of over 30,000) were url listed only. But at the top of the search page was

"Tip: Search for English results only".

It returned over 5,000 well formed results. I know the people who own the site and there is not a word other then english on it.

 

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