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Or have I totally missed what you're asking for?
You collect sales tax for orders shipped to any state where your business has a "physical presence" and the state has a sales tax.
The tax rate varies of course and you'll have to contact the state tax authorities to figure out what the appropriate rate is.
If you're a small business with only one location, you generally only need to collect tax for orders shipped within your state, at the appropriate local sales tax rate.
For the enterprise with a no budget restrictions:
For mid-market or SME's:
There are some great companies using the later such as Capezio Balletmakers (the largest dancewear company in the world)
NOTE: they are an ecommerce client of ours