The saddest .... single most pathetic thing i ever heard someone ask

[matimer]

What's your favorite font color?

My response.... 41509D

Ahhhh!

[Eterion]

I used to work for Disneyland...
Hot AFTERNOON summer day, guests are sweating and theyre all lined up and down Main Street USA waiting for the upcoming parade...
This guest (thats what we call park visitors) walks up to me and asks me "Is this the Electrical Light Parade"?
I'm squinting because of the unforgiving sun, trying to stop myself from bursting at her and replied "No Ma'am, this is the Parade of the Stars. In order to see the lights from the Electrical Light Parade, we hold that after sunset at 7pm."
The lady gives me a puzzled look and I sprint out of there chuckling.

[Automan Empire]

I used to have an aggressive pet rooster who would attack guests without warning. To curtail this, I found an effective solution was to catch him and toss him up on the roof; he would fly down from the other side and leave us alone for awhile every time without fuss. (He'd fly up there for his own reasons, too.)
One friend of a friend indignantly declared, "Don't you think that's cruel, making him fly like that?
I pondered and replied, "He's a bird!"

[edit_g]

On the pizza note, this really gets me:

Whatever Pizza: hello, welcome to whatever pizza, how can I help you?
me: well, I'd like to order pizza please...

Why, why, why? Do they think I'm calling to see if my dry cleaning is done?

And one more thing, the signs outside shops:

"No dogs allowed (apart from guide dogs)"

I don't think anyone needing a guide dog would take any notice of that...

I'll be quiet now...

[jecasc]

A phone call from a visitor of my website:

I came from a website that was somehow connected to yours how can I get back?