I hate Freakin’ Mayonnaise

[ukgimp]

A simple task like buying sandwiches becomes my eternal nightmare. All but one of around 200 sandwiches had flaming mayonnaise on them. The other day I was pleased to see a sandwich that was called “simply chicken”. Fantastic I thought, but out of suspicion I checked the ingredients only to discover that “simply chicken” contains mayonnaise with black pepper. I wrote to the makers and pointed out my problem and their misleading packaging. I got a full apology, £5 and a promise that it would be passed onto their branding dept.

Add to that monkeys at restaurants who successfully omit the mayonnaise only to add coleslaw, which if I am not mistaken is made with f’in mayonnaise.

Anyhow, I don’t expect you to care or for this post to make it onto the front page on WebmasterWorld I just wanted to complain to the world at large

[edited by: ukgimp at 10:24 am (utc) on Aug. 7, 2003]

[tigger]

LOL.

I can't live without it, I have it on everything :)

[pixel_juice]

I'm with ya ukgimp. I also dislike mayonnaise and find it near on impossible to find a pre-packed sandwich without it on. What on earth is wrong with butter or some other kind of spread? Or at least a blimmin choice!

>>Add to that monkeys at restaurants who successfully omit the mayonnaise only to add coleslaw, which if I am not mistaken is made with f’in mayonnaise

Tell me about it - I don't like mayonnaise but i hate coleslaw worse. Nasty crunchy creamy stuff...

I'm convinced supermarkets and the like have some kind of evil mayonnaise-based world domination plan, and I for one am not going for it ;)

[Nick_W]

I'm in Denmark. These guys put it on their CHIPS!

Ugh....

Nick

[DaveN]

wow, I love mayo but hate salad cream

[Shak]

Nick,

That is 1 thing I really miss over here.

Mayonaise on Chips :)

the mayo in Denmark actually tastes a lot better as well, and I am sure I used to get my chips from a shop which I think was similar to a butchers, maybe wrong as I was only 8 at the time.

Shak

[dmorison]

Stopped eating mayonnaise the first time I saw some being made.

Bit pricey but I highly recommend locating a Subway if there's one nearby. Still processed meat but no fatty spreads and you can have jalapenos with everything :)

[Cipher]

Slightly off topic but can someone please tell me what Rocket is?

In London it is on everything and it tastes absolutly disgusting :(

[pixel_juice]

Rocket's a salad leaf - also called arugula or roquette -known for its peppery flavour.

It's not too bad - I'll let rocket stay if we can get rid of the mayo :)

[ukgimp]

>>what Rocket is?

Arugula
www.growinglifestyle.com/article/s0/a112078.html

[edit_g]

Mayo is beautiful! Also the mustard/mayo mix spreads. Mmmmmm... I could quite possibly have it on everything - but not the British stuff - Mayo (and milk, chocolate, yoghurt et all) taste much, much better in Scandinavia - especially Norway.

[pixel_juice]

I just found a great site for us ukgimp - the worldwide mayo haters club [nomayo.com]!

Here is a fantastic quote from the homepage:

"Mayonnaise, like hollandaise, was invented by the French to cover up the flavor of spoiled flesh, stale vegetables, rotten fish. Beware the sauce! Where food comes beslobbered with an elegant slime you may well suspect the integrity of the basic ingredients."

-- Ed Abbey, "The Fool's Progress"

I rest my case ;)

[edited by: pixel_juice at 11:07 am (utc) on Aug. 7, 2003]

[creative craig]

Mayo is beautiful!

I feel the same :)

[digitalghost]

I'm a member of the mayonnaise fan club. Why oh why would mayonnaise have to be invented to cover up the taste of anything when mustard was around? You know, mustard? That yellow or yellow brown stuff that covers up the taste of everything it comes in contact with...

The debate in my house centers around mayonnaise or Miracle Whip. Not sure what Miracle Whip is really, but it isn't mayonnaise, more like sweetened yack in a jar.

Then there's catsup, another sickeningly sweet condiment that overrides the flavor of whatever it is added to...

[richardb]

Aw folks you've made me hungry... ...going for some chips with mayo and sweet chile sauce.

[le_gber]

Hi, just got to say something since I'm a frenchman in EnglanD.

Mayonaise in England is NOT GOOD! That's a FACT.

English Mayo makes me sick (no kidding, what do you put in these?), so I've got friends back home that send me parcels with french mayonaise every now and then.

The thing is mayo is a heavy thing on the stomack so eating some by this weather is garantee to make you feel unwell.

Hence the hawaian guy who created the IHateMayo website is the equivalent of creating I hate fish and chips website by somebody living in Japan. How do you know the tast of the real think if all you've got is a PALE copy modified to please the different 'taste' of another culture/country.

Well I'm off to get some real Mayo with my thuna and eggs salad.

Leo

[mivox]

The debate in my house centers around mayonnaise or Miracle Whip. Not sure what Miracle Whip is really, but it isn't mayonnaise, more like sweetened yack in a jar.

Miracle Whip is -- I'm fairly certain -- the work of the devil. Mayonnaise, OTOH, is a gift from heaven. Now, if the Brits can't make decent mayonnaise, that's another story entirely... but mayo on chips/fries, on egg sandwiches, or any other sandwich for that matter, hamburgers, mayo-horseradish dip for sausages, etc., etc., mmmmmmmmm.

Yep, mayo is a good thing. Just ask my arteries! ;)

[msr986]

I'm sorry but if it isn't "Helmann's" or "Best Foods" I won't touch it (yuck). Mivox may have hit the nail on the head, after all, mayo is not mayo.

[nancyb]

I used to be a devout lover of mayo. Then, one day, I read that covering your hair with mayo and a plastic cap was good to repair damaged hair. Since I had recently over done it with hair products and my hair was no longer silky, I thought, yeah this should work.

Well, first off, it didn't!, but the worst part is, now I cannot stand the smell of the wonderful white stuff and a turkey sandwich on toast without mayo is dull and I miss those "after Thanksgiving and Christmas" delights.

[jatar_k]

mmm miracle whip
but i love cheez whiz too

I only eat mayonnaise on a very few select things though. They try to put it on everything.

I hate when you ask a waitress "whats on the burger" and they list off a bunch of crap. I usually respond with "none of that junk". The burger then arrives with mayonnaise or some other horrendously vile condiment.

umm, didn't i ask what was on the burger? umm, didn't i say plain? At what time did the mayonnaise you slopped on there become part of the patty?

now mustard, there's a condiment you can love.

[edit_g]

now mustard, there's a condiment you can love.

A more true statement may never have been made. ;)

Mustard truly is the condiment of the Gods. :) French Mustard.... Mmmmm... You're all making me hungry. I'm going to make something crazy with french dijon mustard. Bring it on. :)

[DrCool]

Love Miracle Whip on most sandwiches but there are a few places in town where mayo fits perfectly.

Mustard is also one of the best things created. It can be added to almost any recipe and it fits great. Put some in your tuna casserole, meatloaf, rub it on some ribs before grilling, cover some chicken and roast it, etc. Great stuff. Just plain mustard though, dijon mustard is terrible.

I am also with Jatar_K on the Cheese Whiz thing. Nearly any kind of processed cheese is great, esp. the stuff in the can.

[Timotheos]

I'm sorry but if it isn't "Helmann's" or "Best Foods" I won't touch it (yuck).

Amen to that. I love it on advocados, asparagus, green peppers and artichoke... did I just give away that I live in California?

[digitalghost]

>>processed cheese

Okay, you guys are making me ill. Cheese needs to come in a block, a wheel or a wedge. No cheese in a can... ewww. Processed Cheese Food? What exactly is that stuff?

[jatar_k]

oh its good

a man can truly live on processed cheese food products alone

[juniperwasting]

a man can truly live on processed cheese food products alone

For about ten, maybe fifteen minutes.

[dragonlady7]

:LOL:
Best thread ever.

I used to hate mayo, but it does have its place. Especially with horseradish in it. Zippy!

Fond of mustard as well... I never used to use any condiments except ketchup when I didn't really like the taste of what I was eating, and that's about it.
Now I'm more fond of condiments because I'm poor and eat more boring things. ^.^

[jatar_k]

For about ten, maybe fifteen minutes

I am still perfectly preserved after 31 yrs ;)

[juniperwasting]

Cheers to processed food, may we never decay!

[mivox]

I love it on advocados, asparagus, green peppers and artichoke... did I just give away that I live in California?

No, you just gave yourself away as having excellent taste. ;) I've never lived in California, and green peppers are the only thing on that list I haven't eaten with mayonnaise. hehehe.

For the avocados, it should be mixed with pepper and garlic powder.
For the asparagus, I highly recommend mixing in a bit of lemon juice.
On artichoke, mixing it with a healthy serving of salted garlic butter to make a creamy sauce is preferred.

mmmmmmm

Cheese needs to come in a block, a wheel or a wedge.

Well, Velveeta is kind of like CheezWhiz in a block, no? ;) I admit I have a weakness for processed cheese, but only as a melted tortilla chip dip with jalepeno added... Otherwise, I won't even buy national-brand blocks of cheese. No character whatsoever. Tragic waste of bacteria going on at Kraft.

I am going to try making some herbed mayonnaise from scratch when I get home. I'm terribly hungry now. :)

[edited by: mivox at 9:34 pm (utc) on Aug. 7, 2003]