Keep 'em clean!
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.
Q: What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
A: "Put it on my bill."
Instead of "the John," I call my toilet "the Jim." That way it sounds better when I say I go to the Jim first thing every morning.
Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
A: Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.
Q: Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn?
A: Because Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
Teacher: "Which book has helped you the most in your life?"
Student: "My father's check book!"
I was wondering why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger, and then it hit me.