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Punchline Thread

just punchlines - no jokes

     
8:18 pm on Jul 11, 2015 (gmt 0)

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Punchline:

The genie was hard of hearing. He thought I said I wanted a 12 inch pianist.
8:34 pm on July 11, 2015 (gmt 0)

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Punchline:
Do you always wear a condom when running in a marathon..?
8:40 pm on July 11, 2015 (gmt 0)

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Punchline:
Indigo..
10:08 pm on July 11, 2015 (gmt 0)

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Punch line:
21

The dreadful part is that I'm fairly certain I originally heard the joke from my mother.
10:53 pm on July 11, 2015 (gmt 0)

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I've got three:

A newspaper.
To get to the other side.
42.
11:19 pm on July 11, 2015 (gmt 0)

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"Don't be evil..."


Sorry, I couldn't help myself...
10:49 am on July 12, 2015 (gmt 0)

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Said the actress to the bishop
1:55 pm on July 12, 2015 (gmt 0)

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Said the bishop to the actress...

;D
2:21 pm on July 12, 2015 (gmt 0)

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Because she wouldn't eat her mushrooms.
3:45 pm on July 12, 2015 (gmt 0)

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With reference to the Pet Fish thread

"Like a fish needs a bicycle"
4:51 pm on July 12, 2015 (gmt 0)

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Ashtray on a motorcycle.

(You had to be there)
5:59 pm on July 12, 2015 (gmt 0)

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To which the barman says, "May I push in your stool?"
7:58 pm on July 12, 2015 (gmt 0)

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The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"
8:18 pm on July 12, 2015 (gmt 0)

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"No, but my father used to work for your mother."
8:28 pm on July 12, 2015 (gmt 0)

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"Yes, I'm positive."
10:19 pm on July 12, 2015 (gmt 0)

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Farted the Star Spangled Banner.
11:24 am on July 13, 2015 (gmt 0)

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I don't know who he is but his face sure rings a bell
11:25 am on July 13, 2015 (gmt 0)

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Everything was going just fine until the ice cream truck drove by
11:56 am on July 13, 2015 (gmt 0)

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I'll have what she's having!
2:19 pm on July 13, 2015 (gmt 0)

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...and the bluebird sang.
3:35 pm on July 13, 2015 (gmt 0)

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And then Paul Gardi said, "Page Rank! Page Rank! Why would we use 10 year old technology"?

[edited by: Brett_Tabke at 1:34 am (utc) on Aug 9, 2015]

3:50 pm on July 13, 2015 (gmt 0)

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OK, coffee break's over. Back on your heads.
4:09 pm on July 13, 2015 (gmt 0)

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Sundays, "the boss" spends all day waterskiing..
4:55 pm on July 13, 2015 (gmt 0)

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And the toker asks the Devil, 'You got a light'
5:45 pm on July 13, 2015 (gmt 0)

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It's a fine line between a punchline and a one-liner.
6:46 pm on July 13, 2015 (gmt 0)

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....the fence is electrified.
8:25 pm on July 13, 2015 (gmt 0)

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"You're in an airplane."

Yes, yes, I know. But I wanted to throw in something that everyone recognizes.
9:32 pm on July 13, 2015 (gmt 0)

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A tachyon goes into a bar..
11:46 pm on July 13, 2015 (gmt 0)

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You've seen this one....

My goat was tied to a transmission.
12:22 am on Aug 8, 2015 (gmt 0)

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"Lad, I don't know where you've been
But I see you won first prize."
This 33 message thread spans 2 pages: 33