Sunday Funnies

A few days early

[tangor]

STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% ON AN EXAM
(I would have given him 100%! Each answer is absolutely grammatically correct, and funny too. The teacher had no sense of humor. :)

Q1..
In which battle did Napoleon die?
*
his last battle
Q2..
Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
*
at the bottom of the page
Q3..
River Ravi flows in which state?
*
liquid
Q4..
What is the main reason for divorce?
*
marriage
Q5..
What is the main reason for failure?
*
exams
Q6..
What can you never eat for breakfast?
*
Lunch & dinner
Q7..
What looks like half an apple?
*
The other half
Q8..
If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what will it become?
*
Wet
Q9..
How can a man go eight days without sleeping?
*
No problem, he sleeps at night.
Q10.
How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
*
You will never find an elephant that has one hand.
Q11.
If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have?
*
Very large hands
Q12.
If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
*
No time at all, the wall is already built.
Q13.
How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
*
Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.

[LifeinAsia]

I would have given him 100%!

Some of the answers are questionable.

#1 He died in exile, not in battle, so technically his last battle did NOT kill him. Officially, he died of stomach cancer, so one could argue he died from a battle with cancer, that being his last battle. But scholars argue whether he really died from stomach cancer.

#2 Most of the signatures are above the bottom of the document (since there are other signatures below them). It would depend on if "bottom of the document" is defined as the physical bottom or logical bottom (i.e., the signature area is considered the "bottom"). "On a table or desk" would have been less ambiguous.

#6 If you have leftovers from a previous lunch or dinner for breakfast, then technically you COULD eat lunch for breakfast.


For #5, I would have gone with "lack of success."

[tangor]

Sadly, the question was "in which battle" for number one, so the answer is correct. As for number three, the bottom is after all statements, therefore is correct. Number six is also correct since the meal being consumed is breakfast (no lunch or dinner, or supper for those of different cultures). and, for the final argument, an exam is no indication of success, only a pass or fail for a single event of expected results, not a critic of success in a life time, or even a week in real life :)

In my other life I am a teacher (music) and know this, and found these responses just as entertaining as some of my inventive students (some who went on to musical careers) for the very cheek of what they did (or didn't do).

This is just a reminder, for all webmasters, that the results you expect are based solely on your query and presentation!

My mother (pushing 89( us nt beta tester. Why? She will always reveal some flaw in my presentation!

[LifeinAsia]

The point I was making is the same as the student was- words can be taken many different ways.

#1- if Napolean did not die in battle, then he would not have died in his last battle.

#2- yes, the answer is correct, but the meaning of "bottom" can mean different things, so not absolutely correct.

#6- meal was not specified. So eating food that was once lunch for breakfast would invalidate the answer.

[tangor]

This is getting too silly.

The meal in question is "breakfast". Not lunch or dinner. What was actually consumed makes no difference. Breakfast has a meaning, so do lunch and dinner, but eating is an act, not a food...

See those two buttons on the right of this screen? One is called Top, the other is called Bottom. Try it. :) But if you hit the End key it will take you to the bottom. And signatures always appear at the bottom, else they would not be called signatures.

As for Napolean... well, that one is self explanatory, ask a stupid question, get an unexpected (perhaps creative) answer.

You know what? We're both right. And the above (which we all should know is a joke) is also correct. And reveals that (in webmaster terms) that when you have an interactive site one should plan for the unexpected, the odd, and "close but no cigar", and have a method to catch that and convert it. Heck, that's the reason I posted this dang thing! Your FORMS (which are exams of a sort) should be very clear, else you'll have no conversions, or the conversion rate will be dramatically low.

[LifeinAsia]

This is getting too silly.

I thought that's why you called it Sunday Funnies.

but eating is an act, not a food

Exactly, but the "what" you eat (per the question) IS food. If the what is leftover food from yesterday's lunch, then you ARE eating lunch for breakfast.

signatures always appear at the bottom

And I've seen a number of signatures that are not on the bottom of the page because the signature is followed by several lines of other things (printed name, title, date, etc.) And, in fact, John Hancock did NOT sign at the bottom- there are 11 signatures directly below his. Technically, if you go to the "bottom" of a page, it would be impossible to sign your name because there would be no room to write your name. (If you move up slightly from the bottom, then you are technically no longer at the bottom of the page.)

[LifeinAsia]

For a similar issue on "wrong" answers, see the classic Barometer Problem [snopes.com].

[tangor]

I usually eat leftovers, and some might be days old. :)

I have seen the declaration in real life... and all the sigs are at the bottom, after the document ends but before the bottom edge of the sheet is reached. Sounds like your version of Bottom is pretty much like the button on the right hand side of this screen. :)

[Leosghost]

See also "Paddington at large"..Chapter four ..Paddington hits the jackpot..When Paddington appears on "lucky for some"..
Described in "outline" ( for those who haven't read the books ) here
[tvtropes.org...]
"game show appearance"..

[LifeinAsia]

Sounds like your version of Bottom

I use the dictionary definition- "the lowest or deepest part of anything." So if B is under A, then obviously A can NOT be at the bottom. There are multiple rows of signatures on the Declaration of Independence, so obviously not every one signed at the bottom.

after the document ends

Your statement makes no sense- if the signatures really did come after the document ended, then they would, by definition, not be part of the document. But the signatures ARE part of the document.

[lawman]

It was funny while it lasted.

[lucy24]

The signatures are in the footer.

Ha.