Jane gets up early on her 25th anniversary planning to make her husband a special surprise anniversary breakfast. Instead she found she was alone, that he wasn't in bed, he was already awake so that spoiled the special breakfast surprise. She decided to go down to the kitchen anyway and as she approached found him sitting at the kitchen table holding their wedding certificate, weeping and saying something she couldn't quite hear.
She thought that was awfully sweet, that he was so romantic and emotional about their 25th anniversary, so she got closer to hear what her dear sweet husband was saying.
When she got close enough to the kitchen to hear her husband he was lightly sobbing: "25 years, only 25 years, if I'd have just shot her I'd be eligible for parole today!"
My wife said she wanted something shiny and new that would go from 0-150 in 3 seconds for her birthday.
I gave her a scale.
That's when the fight started.
Bonus SEO Nonsense
There once was an SEO RockStar,
Who's career didn't get very far.
Because all of his sites.
Suffered Pandalized plights,
With search engine rankings subpar!