Tuesday Tomfoolery

[incrediBILL]

A drunk in a bar stumbles out of the bathroom with blood all over the front of his pants.

The bartender, seeing this, yells "What the hell happened?"

The drunk says "I was using the bathroom, it got caught in my zipper, and I accidentally cut it off trying to get the zipper free"

The bartender says "Quick, where is it? I'll call 911 and send you to the hospital"

The drunk says "I put it here here in my pocket" reaches in his pants pocket and pulls out a cigar. "No, my other pocket" reached in other pants pocket and pulls out another cigar, "No, my shirt pocket" reaches in and pulls out yet another cigar.

Suddenly the drunk screams "OH MY GOD! I SMOKED IT!"

[cmendla]

I caught mine in my zipper ONE TIME (you learn never to do that again)...

If that ever happens to you, consider that NO MATTER WHAT ELSE HAPPENS THAT DAY, NOTHING WILL BE WORSE THAN GETTING IT JAMMED IN EL ZIPPO... getting fired, nuclear war, girlfriend dumps you, whatever, ... the rest of the day will be better than your morning.

[mhansen]

Why am I suddenly seeing the famous shot in "Something about Mary"? [youtube.com...] (Only the first 30 seconds or so)

[lawman]

I got my dongle caught in the zipper of my briefcase once, but it didn't bleed and I didn't smoke it

[lexipixel]

Another reason I've always liked Levi's 501 button-fly jeans.

[rocknbil]

'Nuff said [youtube.com]