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GrandPa's Amusing Corporal Punishment Methods

     
8:51 pm on Nov 1, 2011 (gmt 0)

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My Grandpa was about one of the funniest, and slightly sadistic, guys I ever met.

He was a scream.

Anyway, I lived just a few blocks away so I knew all his tricks, but the rest of the grand kids scattered around the country had no clue what they were getting themselves into when they came to visit.

When they got into trouble, Grandpa would send them out in the backyard to this massive weeping willow tree and tell them to 'pick their own switch' and hand them a pocket knife to cut it off the tree when they found a suitable 'switch' to be punished with.

OMG that was so funny, watching my cousins crying like little babies going round and round the tree looking for the thin green branch that was about to sting their asses off.

FYI, if you've never been hit with a weeping willow limb, those thin things hurt like hell, but I digress...

Eventually they would always return to the house with the green limb in tow, sobbing like crazy expecting to get beaten. Grandpa would take the switch from their shaking hands and say something like "If you don't behave, next time I'm going to use it on you!"

I don't remember him ever hitting the grand kids with the weeping willow switches, he didn't need to, their own imaginations of what was about to happen while selecting their own WAD (Weapon of Ass Destruction) was the only punishment they needed.

Sometimes less is more, wise old man, sure miss him.
10:18 pm on Nov 1, 2011 (gmt 0)

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I was sent out once to get my own switch. My "switch" was a piece of dead wood that broke on impact. That was the last time I was allowed to get my own switch.
4:25 pm on Nov 4, 2011 (gmt 0)

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Yeah and we would get the smaller ones thinking it wouldn't hurt as much, but the smaller the switch, the more it hurt. :-)

"Go get me something to beat ya with." - Bill Cosby
 

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