Profile of the average Internet user

Or is it just me?

[victor]

I can make a demographic profile of a magazine's readership from the advertising it carries, or of a neighborhood by the junk mail it gets.

So, I've tried to do the same for the average Internet user based on spams.

It looks like the average user wants bigger breasts and a much larger pecker but needs viagra to effectively operate any existing one. The also want a casino, a mortgage and lots of hot, hot chicks. They worry that their computer isn't secure and want a pirated copy of Norton to secure it.

They are unlikely to get any of these things until they have used an easy method of repairing their credit. But they are kind-hearted to strangers and thus have an excellent chance of making a small fortune while helping a distressed Nigerian.

They believe the correct way to decline any offer is to click "unsubscribe".

Of course this demographic changes over time, so I am intending to invent the SpamBurst (tm, not) technique of tracking changes in the Internet global zeitgeist by spotting trends in spam content.

Have I missed any recent developments? If so, help me refine the method and we'll both get rich together. Simply call me on my premium rate line. Calls may last all day.

[Visit Thailand]

lol you seem to be forgetting the thousands of people who want to service my car or get me to buy a new one from America or Europe while I am in Thailand!

[hakre]

lol victor. but how do you parse all these cryptic mails with foreign languages (is it chinese, korean or what?) with spamburst?

[victor]

Interesting guys. I don't get offered cars or get spams in unreadable scripts.

I'll have to make spamburst more international,

Is it possible I am being discriminated against? My inalienable right to free spam being infringed? Who should I sue?

[troels nybo nielsen]

> the average Internet user

He wants to quit smoking. He wants to be able to satisfy his woman several times. He is afraid of progressing age. He is a webmaster and is eager to have his website registered with 500000 search engines and directories.

[sem4u]

>They believe the correct way to decline any offer is to click "unsubscribe".

Which reveals that your e-mail address is valid to spammers!

[kevinpate]

victor ponders:
> My inalienable right to free spam

Gee Guy, I'd hate to see anyone be deprived of an inalienable right. If you'll sticky me your preferred email address, I'll notify all spam senders who reach me that my address is changing and the new address will be
[insert victor's addy here]

By the by, I'm happy to help you out like this, free gratis, no fee, not even a promise of a hamburger come Tuesday 8^)

[nancyb]

wrinkled people, the homeless who need morgage loans, copyright infringers who need more ways to copy DVD's, fat people who need to lose 30 lbs in a week, and my very favorite - poor people who need to make $300-$10,000 a month with their computer whilst sitting on their arse.

I'll help, too, just send me your preferred email ....