not so good marketing slogans

not ready for prime time?

[LifeinAsia]

Received some junk mail from the Neptune Society yesterday with the following plastered across the front of the envelope: "Win a FREE Cremation!"

I didn't look at the details, but I certainly hope that the winner doesn't have a limited time to use the prize...

[lawman]

A long, long time ago I used to have a retail bookstore. At that time smaller publishers couldn't justify the expense of a salesman so they paid some goober to call and read whatever promotion they had going on. In describing one of the promotions he said, "this book is written for teenagers by a man who is an ex-teenager himself."

I pointed out that it's kinda hard to skip those years and go straight to adulthood - he acted offended. I'm guessing the ad writers decided to have fun with this socially challenged individual.

[Jane_Doe]

We used to live in a house with a pretty patterned brick exterior. We'd get ads from Sears with pictures of houses with cheap vinyl siding saying "Your house could look like this!"

It always seemed more like a threat than an ad.

[rocknbil]

My hall of shame goes to the soap company that uses the word "gooder" in their TV advertising. Epic fail, if their intent was to make it memorable, it didn't work. I just had to google it - it's Gain.

Sometimes it takes a kick in the shorts to tell the difference between "thinking outside the box" and "the emperor's new clothes."

Runner up: in college was preparing a supporter's list for the theatre program. This was back in the day when we typeset on photo sheets and prepared paste up flats.

Was looking over the list and one of the supporters was a popular doughnut shop right next to the theatre, "Puck's Doughnuts."

No one complained about sending it back to the typesetter when I said I didn't think they'd want to sell dognuts.

[Leosghost]

You sir, have just caused me to get rose wine in my nose from an explosive giggle :)

[jmccormac]

I remember one local photographer in the 1970s had a sign in his window "Come in and have your children shot.". A bit strange but it was the 1970s.

Regards...jmcc

[lawman]

Ubiquitous hospitality slogan:

Stay Here For The Rest Of Your Life

[Samizdata]

In the days when I was a sign painter I was asked by a skip (US: dumpster) operator to paint the lettering on his truck. His slogan, prominently emblazoned on both sides was:

"Our business is rubbish"

In this case, though, it may well have worked as intended.

...

[lucy24]

Every spring, the local farm-and-feed store has a prominently displayed sign saying

Pick Up Chicks Here.

It's really true. They're in an incubator next to the cash register.

* * *

On the Not So Successful side was the local connectivity company's TV ad that began with an establishing shot of an isolated cabin in the woods. You were supposed to see the cabin and think "19th-century settlers who need to move into the present century by using our service". Unfortunately I didn't; I thought "satellite internet"-- a service the company doesn't provide, and if they did, it would be lousy. Some appropriately targeted market research would have nipped that particular ad in the bud.

[Old_Honky]

A firm who sold and installed window blinds in my home town had vans with "The driver of this van is a blind man" on the side. It was funny the first time I saw it...

One of the product areas I am involved in is vacuum cleaners I have often toyed with the strapline "This baby really sucks" but never had the nerve to use it.

[weeks]

There is a pet food firm that had a slogan. "Nothing is better for your pet."
You can feed our stuff, or nothing. Nothing is better.
It's not on the web anymore, but I still see it on their trucks on the highway.

[mhansen]

The company is not in business anymore... but a radiator repair shop I worked with in the mid 90's had a catchy slogan: "Best place in town to take a leak".

I always chuckled when I saw it...

[jimbeetle]

Ear piercing while you wait.

--Not sure how else this can be done.

We serve live lobsters.

--I do prefere mine served cooked.

[LifeinAsia]

We serve live lobsters.

I prefer a restaurant that is its own master...

[James2]

Best one I ever heard was one a mate told me about how he used to drive to work past this building site with an obviously asian firm working there as the banner said: 'you've tried the cowboys, now try the indians.' Classic.

[bhonda]

'you've tried the cowboys, now try the indians.'

Yes. Brilliant.

[Essex_boy]

Ive seen something similar to that, very funny.

Double glazing firm in Suffolk on the front of all the trucks, 'Although the guy is a nice guy'

Meaning what exactly? Threat ? It drives me nuts.

[jecasc]

I like the slogan of this chinese restaurant:

[english-test.net...]


I bet the problem was that the server ran on this software:
[osxdaily.com...]

[Status_203]

Parents of son's friend had a substantial extension on their house a couple of years ago.

They were unaware (until we told them... had to...) that they had a sign on the front of their scaffolding advertising

...for a better erection