Welcome to Customer Service

How may I help you today?

[LifeinAsia]

No, this is not from some Monty Python sketch or something from Kafka. The following is an edited version of an actual online chat today:
Customer Service: Welcome to Customer Service! How may I help you today?
ME: I am trying to download the upgrade from version 6 to 6.1. The link on your site is broken.
CS: Where are you trying to download?
ME: I go to www.example.com/downloads and click on the "Upgrade to version 6.1" link. That gives a 404 error.
CS: Should I send the link to www.example.com/downloads?
ME: Huh? Who are you going to send that link to?
CS: To you.
ME: Why do I want that link? I already know about it. I told YOU about it,
CS: One moment...
CS: Please try this link- www.example.com/downloads2
ME: That page is for version 9.
CS: Do you need version 6.1?
ME: Yes! That's what I said in the beginning.
CS: Please try this link- www.example.com/updates
ME: I already know about that page. That page only has a link to upgrade from version 6.1 to 6.2. I have to have 6.1 installed before I can update to version 6.2.
CS: One moment please...
CS: I am sorry that I could not help you today. Is there anything else I can help you with?
ME: So what am I supposed to do now?!?
(Many moments later...)

CS: Please try this link: www.example.com/hotfix
ME: That is the hotfix FOR version 6.1. You have to have 6.1 installed BEFORE you can run that one!
CS: I am sorry I can not help you. Please call our support desk.
ME: I tried that. They said I had to use online support!
CS: One moment please...
CS: Please try this link- www.example.com/manuals61
ME: Those are only manuals for version 6.1. If I can't install 6.1, what good are they?!?
CS: Go down to the "How to install 6.1" link.
ME: That tells you HOW to install. The instructions are worthless unless you actually have the upgrade program. Which is what I am trying to download!
CS: One moment please...
CS: Is there anything else I can help you with today?
ME: NO! I just need to know where to get 1 simple update file. Is that so difficult? I don't need to download the instructions. I don't need version 9. I just need to download the upgrade from version 6 to 6.1. If you can't help me, then get someone who can!
CS: When you close this chat window, please click on the "Chat Now" link so that someone else can help you.
ME: And is that person going to be as clueless as you?!?

[jecasc]

What was the name of the customer service rep? Eliza Chatterbot?

ME: And is that person going to be as clueless as you?!?
CS: Tell me more about "clueless".
ME: What the F...
CS: Are such questions on your mind often?
ME: Can you give me the Version 6.1 or not?
CS: Don't you believe I can give you Version 6.1?
...

[LifeinAsia]

If only!

[rise2it]

"And is that person going to be as clueless as you?!?"

------------------

Thank you....that made my day.

[mack]

Hmmm this is a misleading thread title.. I saw a customer, but i missed the support :)

Thanks for sharing.

Mack.

[LifeinAsia]

but i missed the support

As did I!

[akmac]

Hilarious! I think it's unfortunately true that companies pay little for their first line of (ignorant) customer service (or tech support) reps because most of the calls are from even MORE clueless customers.

The front line is very rarely equipped to deal with actual problems.

I admire your restraint-I would have been typing in ALL CAPS HALF WAY THROUGH.

[Pozo]

I would have been typing in ALL CAPS HALF WAY THROUGH.

Really!

[jecasc]

Actually when you read the dialogue again - I would say chances are high that you were indeed talking to a chatbot.

[piatkow]

In the recession of the early 90s I was reduced to working on a help desk for a couple of months. The only training was in how to enter the report into the system. After paying travelling costs I was no better off than on benefits. You can imagine the quality of staff they would normally get.

[rocker]

LIA before closing the chat window you should have proceeded with:

me: Who is on first
cs: I don't know
me: no, he is on third base
cs: what?
me: no, he is on second
.....

[vik_c]

I walked into a Reliance Mobile outlet in Mumbai a couple of months ago and pasted next to each computer monitor for the benefit of the support personnel was "End conversation with 'Thank you sir/madam, Is there anything else I can help you with?'". My opinion about Reliance and it's support staff touched a new low that day.

[mack]

LoL rocker. Then insist on Quantas.

[g1smd]

Companies like that deserve to go bust very very quickly.

Morons.

[LifeinAsia]

Actually when you read the dialogue again - I would say chances are high that you were indeed talking to a chatbot.

I didn't copy the chat dialogue verbatim (there were a LOT more "please wait" messages). When I aononymized it, I guess I put a little more of a chatbot feel to it.

Companies like that deserve to go bust very very quickly.

Unfortunately, this is a major company whose products you probably use almost every day. (No, not M$ or Google.)