Forum Moderators: open
It congratulated Bobby for successfully completing the 'Using Public Transport (Unit 1)' assignment.Its essential curriculum included: 'Walk to the local bus stop. Stand or sit... and wait for the arrival of a public bus. Sit on the bus and observe through the windows.'
Boy gets prize for catching a bus [metro.co.uk]
The next part of the course includes:
- how to breathe and
- how to eat
The next part of the course
Surely the next item on the curriculum would be "How to get off the bus".
This stuff is clearly not as easy as it sounds - the article continues:
Alas, his brother, 13-year-old Joe, failed.
...
Forget "green" issues, the UK road system cannot continue with unchecked growth in private trasport (read "cars"). If we can overcome the barriers that constrain uptake of public transport, that can only be a good thing.
And then there are the green issues ;)
Poor, stupid Joe.
Bury Council, which organised the £20,000 project,
The councillors should be thrown out of a job and made to pay that out of their own pocket for wasting 20k on that project.
And, do you really think that the lad would offer that certificate in an interview!
Certificates were awarded for such common place tasks as:
using a cafe
undressing and dressing
washing hands
making a cold drink
The AQA certificate guide to making a cold drink:
(This is not made up)
1. Select glass or cup
2. Take container of cordial
3. Remove lid. Pour into cup an appropriate amount
4. Replace container cap
5. Identify cold water tap
6. Turn on tap
7. Put cup under tap. Fill to appropriate level with water
8. Turn off tap when cup is sufficiently full. Stir and mix
I got A+ for washing my hands but failed undressing because I left my socks on. I also failed the "making a cold drink exam", because I went straight to the fridge and opened a beer.
Personally I'm disappointed that they don't have an exam module called "using the lavatory"
1. Open the door
2. Enter the lavatory
3. Close and bolt the door
4. Remove your trousers and undergarments
etc. etc.
It is only a matter of time.
WARNING - ANY PERSON EXITING THIS RESIDENCE MUST BE IN POSSESSION OF A VALID AND CURRENT CERTIFICATE OF COMMON SENSE AND MUST ADHERE TO THE PRINCIPLES OF SAID DOCUMENT WHILE VISITING THE REAL WORLD.
So maybe the "Get on the Bus" certificate is a good start.
I am wondering - Does the driver need to acknowledge lame questions from riders lacking such a certificate?
Even their teachers speak this way ..but then as most of the UK politicians have abandoned the pronunciation of letter "T" at the end of any words ..
And dont get me started on the risibility of Clare Fox being considered to be an intellectual ..time was when their IQ had to be bigger than their shoe size before they got into parliament ..or became a media expert ..
east enders and grange hill have much to answer for ..
[edited by: Leosghost at 2:22 pm (utc) on Aug. 18, 2009]
That's why we have "5 a day co-ordinators" employed by most councils and that's why a packet of peanuts has the warning "may contain nuts" on the back.
Among the many challenging tasks:
Shown knowledge of at least two different types of tickets available for buses or trains, e.g., single, return.
When I was 13 or so kids would go train spotting. You learned how to read a timetable and use public transport PDQ as a call for dad's taxi wasn't an option.
Probably the smartest prime minister since the war was Margaret Thatcher and yet she oversaw three of the most insane policies ever conceived being...
1) Scrapping O' levels
2) Scrapping the universities (i.e. making all the second-rate colleges for dummies into "universities").
3) Closing coal-powered generators (which means we had to start importing gas 30-40 years sooner than we otherwise would).
Some people think Gordon Brown is a smart chap, but here's the thing - you didn't need to be smart to know a bust would come eventually, you needed to be an idiot to believe it would not.
Kaled.
Of course, anyone who thinks economic "cycles" don't include a downswing should never be in charge of economic policy. That recent UK economic policy seems based on the assumption that tax yeilds would forever rise is pretty scary. As is the beleif in the lie that we can repair the balance sheet without cutting services.
So, buses then...
That recent UK economic policy seems based on the assumption that tax yeilds would forever rise is pretty scary.
Kaled.
Bobby did not realise he was being marked for the everyday 'challenge' of walking to his local bus stop and clambering on board.
The UK version of "The Truman Show" perhaps? :)
