Welcome to WebmasterWorld Guest from 220.127.116.11
So I thought would be neat if people posted their version of Redneck humor.
Keep it clean and funny. No jokes on nationalities, religous or ethnic groups, race etc, etc.
OK I'll go first.
" How can you tell if you might be a Redneck?"
" If you met your wife at a family reunion!"
You probably are a Redneck!
[edited by: lawman at 11:15 am (utc) on April 20, 2007]
"Your idea of foreplay is 'get in the truck b-'."
"Your idea of a family reunion is watching 'America's Most Wanted.'"
I can dish 'em out as well as I can take 'em, but something few people consider in this arena . . .
<in defense of rednecks>
The problem I have with "redneck" is that true rednecks got their red neck from busting their tails in the sun all day long to feed a country that doesn't give a crap whether their farm turns to dust or their families starve. Did you know that if the U.S. government needs the water that is being supplied to a commercial farm they can just take it? All of it?
Most on this board would go ballistic at the mention of certain words or other slander to portions of our population that can be identified by physical appearance or cultural mannerisms. But it's always open season on rednecks. hmmm . . .
</in defense of rednecks>
Please do not think for a moment I am offended by redneck jokes, but these are the people that feed you, and their forefathers are the ones that built this country. Their plight is seldom voiced.
-- redneck hippie
[edited by: lawman at 6:45 pm (utc) on April 21, 2007]
My hair is white, my neck is red and my collar blue...
Here's the YouTube video
(It wasn't, but he pointed at the correct house for Sunday whiskey-buying.)
My favorite of Jeff Foxworthy's is you might be a redneck if you have ever climbed a water tower with a bucket of paint to defend your sister's honor.
However the term
Redneck does not only apply to farmers. It also does for
sawmill workers, gas station attendants, factory workers,
oil field workers and truck drivers etc,etc. It is more of an attitude and social/economic thing than an occupational
Being from the same neck of the woods as you, I have always heard the term redneck originated many years ago when fair skinned northerners moved south. That they were called that because necks were prone to sunburn.
Little girl watching mother doing the washing up, "Mummy, how come your hands are so soft?".
Mother, "Because I'm only thirteen."
Q. How can you tell when ******* are getting married?
A. The bride wears a white shell suit.
Highest proportion of underage mothers and premature deaths in the County. For a town of 35000 thats some doing.
And no its not in Essex but just inside the Suffolk border.
[edited by: Essex_boy at 7:42 pm (utc) on April 23, 2007]
You might be a redneck if . . .
- your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
- your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.
- you have ever started a petition to have the national anthem changed to "Free Bird."
- you think Volvo is part of a woman's anatomy.
- you consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
- after making love you ask your date to roll down the window.
- anyone in your family has ever worn a tube top to a wedding.
- you own more cowboy boots than sneakers.
- you have a picture of Willie Nelson or Johnny Cash over the fireplace.
- you still have an 8-track tape player in your car.
- your idea of safe sex is a padded headboard.
- you own a belt buckle that weighs more than 3 pounds.
- your all-time favorite movie is Cannonball Run.
- you have a family reunion by watching America's Most Wanted.
- the "yes" answer to any question is "ten-four, good buddy."
- the driver's side door of any car you own has tobacco stains.
- duct tape is visible anywhere on the outside of your vehicle.
- your house has more wheels than your car.
- you have a spit cup anywhere on the premises.
- your idea of a good time is a six pack of beer and a bug zapper.
In that case I'd say the Scottish equivalent (least where I'm from) is teuchter [en.wikipedia.org]
Like other rural stereotypes, teuchters commonly feature in jokes (a teuchter visiting the city might marvel at a bus as "a hoose wi' wheels")
and yes I live in the rural highlands.. so that makes me one ;)