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With food though, the drawback would be that the freezer chills from the outside in, so the edges might get too cold, and the middle still too hot.
That's probably a little extreme. What's coming to mind is the flash-freezing process used by food manufacturers. I've never looked into the process, so I don't know if it's anything more than an extreme cold storage.
Another initial thought was to use a CO2 fire extinguisher. You're still faced with the problem of cold on the outside, hot on the inside. But it could be entertaining enough to prevent the crying.
drag out a cake pan(ish) size dish
fill with iced water
set too hot dish in water
stir food so hottest part keeps moving to outside
Use option 1 while you continue to stir and test,
stir and test, and wonder why you're bothering
to stir and test, stir and test, stir and test ..