Forum Moderators: buckworks
2) Email: "if I order, how long will it take to get my stuff?" Customer doesn't say where he lives or what product he wants.
3) (mentioned before here): "send me a catalog" tho we clearly say we don't have one.
4) People who phone our 800 number with indecipherable foreign accents and proceed to order at the speed of a tobacco auctioneer. Why is it that so many people who can't speak understandable English, don't seem to know it? (you'd think the 4th "can you repeat that" would tell them something)
5) Phone orderers who feel everyone knows how to spell their name and address. If you live on Pterodactyl Lane in Ypsilanti, then spell it
But I'm probably the only one with any e-commerce peeves, right?
Did they really expect that the shipping method choosen changes the amount of time it takes to process the order?
The guy who sends an email to service@store. Waits for 12 minutes, sends a second email with a subject line "SECOND REQUEST". Waits another 7 minutes and sends another email with a subject "THIRD AND FINAL REQUEST BEFORE I CALL THE CREDIT CARD COMPANY".
The lady who sends an email to service@ from abcdefgh@aol with no subject line and a message that just says "did it ship?". No name, no order number, the email address doesn't match anything that you have because it was typed incorrect to begin with.
The guy who files a chargeback and when you call to ask what the problem is he says "oh, yeah, now I remember ordering that. I figured it was easier to just dispute it with the bank rather than calling your toll-free number next to the charge that I couldn't remember"
Boy am I happy to not be on the phones or email anymore!
If I could only sell electricity I would be rich! sigh.....
2) They live in an apartment and don't put down an apartment number or suite number or lot number the list goes on. Our system kicks them back to us if they don't enter the correct shipping address.
3) Many like stated above (if I order today when will I get it), Order what and to where?
4) Are your wholesale prices your wholesale prices?
A friend of mine had this discussion a couple of weeks ago. He thought there was something in the water. I figured that when we started the on-lines businesses, you had to cough up at least $1,500 for a computer and only people that were serious could or would drop the cash.
Today, everybody and their brother sells $300 desktops and now there are millions of under educated people banging on our sites.
A customer asks why we did not email the tracking number, but they never gave us an email address when they ordered, or gave one with an error.
We get that about once a week, and you just know its the purchasing department of a giant retailer trying to cut corners.
When a major electric utility in the hurricane devastated southeast US publishes their phone number incorrectly in the phone book, and uses yours instead.
If I could only sell electricity I would be rich! sigh.....
WOW!
Generators, flashlights, candles... man how I would love that. :)
I'd probably be mad and have my own number changed before that came to mind, though. :(
Seems to me you could file a suit and get compensation for lost productivity and costs related to changing your number. Think of stationary, invoices, mailing out new number, business cards and on and on.
- An order is placed using a stolen credit card. The actual credit card holder calls up, explains that the charge was fraudulent, and receives a full refund. Then we receive a chargeback for the same transaction even though it was refunded!
- Voicemails left after-hours on our toll-free number that are just breathing sounds. I don't think they're just "waiting for the beep" because these often come in groups of 2 or 3 calls from the same number.
- Customer places an order for a product that is delivered via email... using an email address that, for whatever reason, doesn't accept incoming emails.
'nuff said
I'd probably be mad and have my own number changed before that came to mind, though. :(
Actually I have promised a $100 bonus to the first salesperson on our staff that can turn a wrong number into a sale. Hasn't happened yet, but we keep trying.
It is not practical to change the number since we have printed it on over 100,000 direct mail pieces. It is also not practical to try and sue for damages since it would be more effort to calculate the damage that it is to simply tell the people what the correct number is.
Besides it gives the salespeople another opportunity to bonus :)
When a major electric utility in the hurricane devastated southeast US publishes their phone number incorrectly in the phone book, and uses yours instead.
If I could only sell electricity I would be rich! sigh.....
So this guy didn't even buy anything yet and he emails:
Potential Customer:
please forward a users manual if you can to
John Doe
555 Oak Street
Cleveland,OH 55555
Thamks
(Name and addressed changed, but it is exactly how he typed everyting else. I read it too fast and didn't see the address or it didn't register that someone with a computer would actually want a small manual mailed to them.)
Me:
Here ya go.
(I attach manual in Word & PDF format.)
Potential Customer:
I don't print manuals ....
Thanks anyway.
(So I see this and I am totally confused as to what he is talking about. I look at the old email and see he put his address in there... so I put 2 and 2 together and I see he wanted a hard copy.)
Me:
We don't print manuals either.
Your welcome.
(Ok, so I jabbed at him a tiny bit, but I almost wrote, "Do you print your emails before you read them?") :)
Potential Customer:
e commerce......
Lost more money than anyone in the shortest period in the history of mankind with customer N attitudes just like yours.
(That is exactly how he typed it too.) :)
So, if a toy was selling well in the shops all I had to do was go to their site and look it up. DOH!
Boy am I grateful to these guys.
My other pet peeve is about competitors who steal my content. Recently I caught one and she said she should be allowed to keep on using it because her mother was sick.
funniest thread ever. glad im not alone
i get driven crazy by the "when will my order arrive" emails, but the worst lately was a lady whose order i credited on her request. I sent her the reciept, and she wrote back angrily another 4 times saying "where is my credit?" I replied to her each time, but on the last ended it with "Maybe you could check your email... i think your inbox might be full?"
Had another person threaten me with legal action for non-delivery, only to find out that his secretary had taken the parcel and stored it away some 2 weeks earlier.... er...
He claimed that our shopping cart must have billed him twice because he double clicked on the submit button. Despite being told the orders were dated three days apart, he insisted it was our error.
We gave up and refunded his money when he returned the extra product.
As a webmaster:
Providers who are quick to email back and promise the moon BEFORE the sale... even to the point of saying it will take ONE DAY to get your site up and selling!
Then after you send the fat check, the emails start getting returned sporadicaly, if at all. Also, you discover that they must have meant JOVIAN days, not earth days.
As a customer:
Order today, ships today! A *huge* online computer store should not be 0 for three on this promise! If they simply said it would be a day or five, I'd be okay with it!
(Different)Huge Online Computer Store- spend over an hour looking at all 140 machines in their "outlet" store, choose refurbished one that is about $40 off new, then at checkout find shipping and handling will be $160! (I added to their abandoned shopping cart stats that day!)
"Can you advise me of a local retailer stocking your products? Im in blah blah"
We had a guy that ownes a Ford dealership on the East coast order some products and I talked to him and my partner talked to him. It was on his AMEX and shipped to his dealership.
He calls AMEX and tells them he didn't authorize the charge and they see it his way. He never even contacted us about it.
So the guy is a big wheeler and knows the system and is trying to get something for free.
My partner keeps calling his dealership over and over and keeps getting bogus excuses about him not being there and all and finally he gets him on the phone and the guy says he didn't remeber ever buying anything from us and starts yelling and cussing.
My partner yells back and tells him that we know how to market and we also know how to anti-market.
We got a check in the mail that week.
What really gets under my skin is the customer that doesn't even know his/her own correct mailing address. Even more frustrating is we use to occasionally get a customer that would give us the wrong mailing address a couple of times...what a waste of money for us. Now when a customer's order is returned to us as "undeliverable to the address given"...we simply refund their purchase and refuse to re-ship it.
My absolute biggest pet peeve is the unreasonable and rude customer. Like nasty emails because their order is one day late. With these types we make it very difficult for them to order from us again by blocking their credit card and orders placed in their name and address. We are the primary supplier for a product within a certain industry... how quickly they change their tune after we send them an email notifying them they are no longer allowed to purchase from us.
Reminds me of this woman that I shipped to in the USA she moved before the order got to her and she wanted to know what we wre going to do about it...
err nothing, which was my exact reply.
<snip>
He wants to buy...no matter what we're selling. :)
But these lame scams are more humorous than annoying.
[edited by: lorax at 1:22 pm (utc) on Oct. 31, 2005]
[edit reason] removed email excerpt [/edit]
I had a new competitor copy [total cut and past}my site, and in
the shipping info for big ticket items I give my 800# to call for an install or freight quote. Yup he copied that too and low and behold I get a call for 8K worth of equipment and a quote - I of coarse ended up with the sale and he ended up with my lawyer.
