Forum Moderators: buckworks
2) Email: "if I order, how long will it take to get my stuff?" Customer doesn't say where he lives or what product he wants.
3) (mentioned before here): "send me a catalog" tho we clearly say we don't have one.
4) People who phone our 800 number with indecipherable foreign accents and proceed to order at the speed of a tobacco auctioneer. Why is it that so many people who can't speak understandable English, don't seem to know it? (you'd think the 4th "can you repeat that" would tell them something)
5) Phone orderers who feel everyone knows how to spell their name and address. If you live on Pterodactyl Lane in Ypsilanti, then spell it
But I'm probably the only one with any e-commerce peeves, right?
We're number one on Adwords for a few major manufacturer names. We get all sorts of calls where the people think we're the actual manufacturer.
I once owned a domain that was a plural of another domain. It was the sort of site where people deposited and withdrew money regularly and in various ways.
People were always emailing me with their usernames and passwords. It was more amusing than annoying. It was annoying when I felt the need to email them back and point them to where they really needed to email. Once I decided not to waste my time on that, it just became amusing.
Geez, do I hate those people that rattle off phone numbers on an answering machine!
We get those. "Call me right away at X[sneeze]X-[Cough, cough]XX-XXX [turns head away so you can't understand last digit].
After that, the only word you discern on the recording is something about "fire."
We get phone calls for warranty repair for products they didn't buy from us, and questions like "I just purchased your product from the store up the street and when I opened it the package was only half full. Is that the way it's supposed to be, or are they ripping me off?"
1. person who did not understand the concept of VERTICAL scrolling and has been bugging us by e-mail saying she can't access her course, because all she can see is the top part.
2. person who asked if we'd POSTED her "online course" (and used those words) to the correct address
3. person who left a phone message asking about booking for a w/shop and didn't leave her number, which is also exdirectory - TWICE! Sounding rather irritated the second time....
4. person asking if [insert name of course run by rival] is still available and becoming extremely stroppy when she tried to explain why she was not able to accept bookings for it.
5. person who bought an online course and realised it was online (as in, on the internet) but didn't understand the concept of clickable hyperlinks. Think about that one. #*$!?!
I think that particular customer service rep has earned her money today.
When she'd left her desk (hehehe) I set the screen display to shake eversoslightly constantly. Meany.
But very funny.
The problem this makes for the rest of us is that, because he considers computers magical, he thinks they're unlimited in what they can do. For anything you can imagine, his question is, "Well, can't you just pull it up on the computer?" My normal response is, "Not unless someone put it in there." He was absolutely mystified when I told him that for something to be on the internet, someone has to do something to put it there. I don't know where he thinks it comes from... maybe I don't want to know!
--Back to the more on-topic phone calls. There was a period of time a couple of years ago when our phone number was one digit off from one of those "If you don't want to receive any more of these mailings, call..." numbers. Have you ever tried to tell people, "No, we're really not the people who've been spamming you," when they already think you're an office full of scam artists?
Same customers always choose free UK shipping when they are in the US then insist we overcharged on that too. Doh! There's a big “select currency” option on the site.
Same customers always choose free UK shipping when they are in the US then insist we overcharged on that too
They probabably think that "UK" is a typo and you really meant "US". What other country besides the US is on the internet anyway? :)
That might have been me if it was a Saturday morning. Apologies if so. -Larry
All are orders are dispatched first class, usually within 1 working day
and they see;
All orders are dispatched on the same day using a next day courier.
They place an order at 5:00pm (or later sometimes), and are miffed when it doesn't arrive the next day.
All my customers do it look at the pretty pictures, and call for answers that are already in 28 point flashing red text on the front page (not really but sometimes I would like to) :)
"hey, u sell wolesale? i jist open store."
That's it. No name. No details. Some are Nigerian scams, of course, But it's even scarier that some are from young people opening real stores!
People don't learn how to write business letters anymore. Heck, my own son recently asked me how to address an envelope and which side to put the stamp on. And he's an A- university student!
A tool website I've built we just had to post the manufacturers details - stopped all the "will this item allow me to do a very particular and unusual job that you've never even considered in your life before?" questions.
It reads like this:
"If I am not at home when you deliver the goods, please leave the parcel at Mrs. XY in the sixth floor or at Mrs. XY in the first floor. Thank you."
I also got another:
Subject: Re: We have shipped your order.
I have made payment yesterday with my credit card. Have you received it? When will my parcel be shipped?
I work in a DIY store and get that all the time. People want to do some crazy things sometimes.
"I need a tool that will cut a hole that is no smaller than 56 inches and no bigger than 56.5 inches, that I can hold using my mouth and is powered by my own sense of self satisfaction".
The customer who just sent me an email demading I refund his money because he placed the order assuming that the qty description was a typo. And that he won't return the merchandise he recieved, unless I include postage for it in the refund.
And often people who call to order one widget end up ordering lots of them after speaking with a reassuring phone rep.
"The tucking company just arrived but it's not what I ordered"
"Let's see, let me look up your account...We have a signed confirmation indicating that is the product you wanted"
"Blah, blah, blah..but that's not what I ordered"
"Maim, it is signed by you indicating you ordered this item."
Find out later nobody bothered to read the confirmation and just signed their life away.
"You'll hear from my attorney"
"Yes maim, I would suggest doing what you have to do, but show him the signed confirmation"
"#@$% this is ridiculous, this isn't what I ordered"
Online sales would be much easier if people actually READ things. I love it when they say let me talk to your supervisor.
"Maim, I am the owner of the company"
It was a trendstarted by the owner and boy it was great to see their faces.
let me talk to your supervisor - Yeha when I worked in the retail often we would have people complaining. they wanted to speak with the owner, often they were so we'd just point to the youngest in member of staff and say he owned it.
It was a trend started by the owner and boy it was great to see their faces.
Yeah, that owner was a real clown with disgruntled customers. Is he still in business? Is he still alive?
sometimes disgruntled customers are complete idiots.
People can't just walk in and demand to speak to the manager. I always find that people look down their noses at me, as I am younger than them, which really irritates me.
I hope I can get my own shop whilst i'm still young enough to have this conversation.
Customer: "I demand to speak to the manager"
Me: "Actually I am the owner"
Customer looks amazed, shocked and embarrased.
Me: "thats right, I own this business, and i'm 21."
<sarcastic>"Can I help you"</sarcastic>
What Essex_boy describes, we have done before now, and I always get my 'got one over on you grin' going.
I actually enjoy working with customers, so would rather own a bricks and mortar store, and run the online side of things from there, rather than a office/warehouse style set up.
I've had a bit of a hard day if any one can tell!
sometimes disgruntled customers are complete idiots.
People can't just walk in and demand to speak to the manager.
At many NYSE firms you can get thru to the President if you try.
I hope I can get my own shop whilst I'm still young enough to have this conversation.I own this business, and I'm 21."
<sarcastic>"Can I help you"</sarcastic>
I've had a bit of a hard day if any one can tell!
I agree with you on all points, but I'd rather put my emotions across rather than just let them wind me up.
Of course I would never actually say anything to a customer (although sometimes i really have to bite my tongue), as I'm too nice, and I know it would be bad for business. I was always told in Business studies:
"If a customer has a bad experience they will tell 10 people, If a customer has a good experience, they might just tell one person".
That was the first thing I was ever taught in business, and I think its ultimately the most important. You can have the lowest prices and the fastest deliveries, but if you don't treat your customers right, they'll never come back, and you'll end up with a bad reputation. Its not worth it for the sake of keeping your mouth shut.
Incidentally our shop is on the cards to win a customer services excellence award throughout our 4 local towns, so we must be doing a lot of tongue biting to say the least!
