joined:May 8, 2003
On 23d of December we received an order. Customers email address:
We shipped it the same day. Today I received the following email from
(I changed the text of the email so it can't be recognised, the content is the same)
Hi, I ordererd on your website on Dec. 23d. I haven't received the goods or any information why the products were not shipped. I also can't log into my account on your website with my email address. It say there is no such account. This is not true. If I do not receive an answer immediately I'll report this to Paypal as money fraud.
Here the email I wrote but didn't send,:
Dear Mr Doe,
thank you very much for your email. You are right, you were defrauded. Haha. Years of preparation have finally payed of and have culminated in this masterpiece which let's Professor Moriarty look like an amateur compared to me. Years ago I started the preparations, setting up a website, filling it with hundreds of products, hiring staff to fulfill orders, collecting hundreds of positive reviews and not a single negative. All in preparation for this very moment. I tricked you into ordering from our website, I took your money and now I have retired to the Bahamas with the 34 EUR I took from you. You will never see your money again. Muahahahahah. On the other hand - maybe not. Maybe you are to stupid to type in a correct email address. Maybe the products haven't arrived because it was christmas and because of the white powdery thingy called snow in front of your door. Why didn't you check the tracking information we provided in your customer account and in our email? Oh I forgot, you were to dumb to spell your email address and couldn't log in and did not receive our email. Sorry. I apologize for the inconvinience. This must somehow be our fault. [Insert graphic reference which involves beginning a relation of sexual nature with yourself]
Now I feel better
Feel free to submit your most stupid or absurd encounters with customers this year below. Maybe we can even pick the most stupid customer from 2010.