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What should I do about their large orders? They will absolutely NOT switch to FedEx, though I know there's a FedEx Freight contrib somewhere out there. Bite the bullet and tell them to add shipping charges into the prices? Maybe some sort of zone-based shipping setup based on the weight of the order? It's the only thing I can think of at this point; they're going to use PayPal as the merchant so going back and charging their credit card once they've calculated the freight charges won't be an option. Plus they were thrilled when I told them the cart would calculate their UPS charges for them (this was before they dropped the bomb that they expect to ship several-hundred-pound pallet orders).
How do other online stores handle shipping charges on large-freight orders? I tried asking directly on the osCommerce forums a few weeks ago, but got zero responses.
Since no one that I know of has come up with a contribution for UPS freight, I would suggest that you use the zones. It may not be exact, but it's the best thing you can use since your client doesn't want to use FedEx freight.