Customers.

Sometimes you really can't win

[ytswy]

Going through the emails this morning and I had two emails one after the other in the inbox.

First one upset about not leaving the parcel with a neighbour

Second one (reply to an email saying goods had been left with a neighbour): upset about leaving the parcel with a neighbor, claiming fraud, and threatening to cancel payment.

What can you do? I thought about just forwarding them each others email but decided against it ;) At least neither of them threatened to "write about it all over the internets."

Has anyone ever thought what a wonderful business you could run without any customers..? How smooth, efficent and above all QUIET it would be...

[edited by: lorax at 1:40 pm (utc) on Dec. 1, 2007]
[edit reason] removed email quote [/edit]

[vincevincevince]

ytswy, that's brilliant in terms of irony value. The sad fact is that in neither case is it your policies which are being criticised but those of your courier. "If you're not going to be in to sign for the package and would be unhappy about redelivery or the package being left with a neighbour, please ship the package to your workplace."

[jecasc]

Yes those are classic. Somehow a lot of customers think one does the deliveries personally. After we send out the daily delivery confirmation emails together with the tracking code we get at least one of those replies:

Please put the parcel under the red box behind the garage. Or: I am not at home tommorow please bring the parcel a day later.

However a few weeks ago I had the dumbest customer ever. He ordered four products - every product he ordered separatly - he completed the checkout procedure four times. Payment option: bank transfer. The next day he had indeed payed all four products - in four seperate payments from his bank account.

[ectect]

We were once asked by a customer to leave the package by the back door...

It was a zip file.

True story.

[ambellina]

ah, customers. silly people.

I had a customer call to report that his product had been damaged in shipping. When I explained to him that we would file a claim with the shipper and ship him a new one, he said, "ma'am, you don't understand. this [product] has been run over by a truck." I started to wonder if maybe I really didn't understand, and he actually wanted to keep the damaged, unusable product. I'm not a patient girl, so I let someone else try to explain to him. It took about 3 more tries to explain to him that we were going to replace the product.

[LifeinAsia]

We were once asked by a customer to leave the package by the back door...
It was a zip file.

Did you tell him that it really IS there, it's just very, very small...

[ytswy]

Did you tell him that it really IS there, it's just very, very small...

Makes sense, it had been zipped right? :)

As we explain in the order confirmation email, we use "compression" technology to reduce the size of your delivery. Your purchase may appear to be many times smaller than you expect. Please note - as clearly stated in our Terms of Service - we are NOT responsible for depredations caused by hungry squirrels.

[rocknbil]

A business owner in one of our group meetings said, "Business is great, if I could just take the customers out of the equation it would be perfect!"

It's all in the point of view. Catch someone off-guard and anyone can look dumb <ducks>.

We've gotten the "leave it here or there" many times, and have even just complied and written it on the package. :-)

My favorite, item: 5" X 7" picture frame, clearly stated in description that it was a picture frame . . NOT a mirror . . . . . .

Customer complains, this is not what I wanted. I am returning this item and want a refund, I thought I was getting a big 16" mirror and I get this teeny picture frame.

Curiosity got the better of me. Our reply was that we'd gladly return it, apologized for the confusion, and asked if she could help us improve our service by letting us know what it was in the item description that led her to believe it was anything besides a 5 X 7 picture frame.

She returned it broken. lol

[King_Fisher]

>>> With out any customers...how quite it would be? <<<

It would be quite alright, graveyard quite!...KF

[rise2it]

Used to (7 or 8 years back) on larger orders pay extra for the postal service to do the signature card thing.

Technically, when you pay for that service, they are supposed to see ID, and only allow the person the package was sent to to sign for it, then the card is mailed back to you.

We received numerous cards back which we couldn't read, which others were allowed to sign, even some which were not signed at all.

The ONE TIME the postal service does its job 100% thoroughly - they refused to let a man's wife sign for the package (he was out of town), even though she had ID and could prove who she was.

Instead, they returned the package to me, and I had to pay to re-ship the package.

The man was a U.S. Senator.

Go figure...

[Label_Lady]

Ectect, We get very detailed delivery descriptions from our customers as well, as if we are personally flying to their home to deliver the products. Here is one of my favorites copied from the customer verbatim:
"The home does not have a mail box, but is 4th white house(fenced) on the right. It can also be delivered to the 3rd house on the right as they are relatives and do have a mailbox in front of their home. Thanks. If our gate is closed, please ring the bell on the gate and we will open it for entry, Thanks"
Sometimes you gotta wonder how they turned on their computer to place the order!

[edited by: Label_Lady at 3:03 am (utc) on Dec. 7, 2007]