Forum Moderators: phranque
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I've failed. Failed in making money on the only thing I really know something about. I'm talking about the WWW and $$$, of course.
I'm now 20 years old. I've wasted basically my entire "teen" years reading, learning and producing Web related stuff without any kind of appreciation, encouragement or other logical reasons other than curiosity and creativity. As so many others. I've made a lot of personal projects that nobody but me, or just a few, have seen, or will ever see. As so many others.
In the beginning, it was a world of magic, where I was still living under the false dream that there was a free host out there somewhere that would stay up forever and never put any advertisements on your pages. I was designing with tables and spacer GIFs. I wrapped tables to produce a border that Netscape 4.x would understand. I didn't know what bandwidth was. I thought that "FTP" sounded exotic and that FreeBSD was some kind of CMS. I thought that MS Personal Web Server (PWS) was great... I... alright. You get my point.
I learned about CSS, separating styling from structure, started understanding more about Apache, Unix, mod_rewrite, PHP, regular expressions, databases/SQL, and just generally how the Web (and computers) works. I realize that I did all this when "cyberspace" was more than common, and not in the days of the "wild" World Wide Web, but it still feels that I've done and evolved a lot. I, of course, blame my parents for not being able to start earlier. They were tech-haters.
Pretty recently, I've made a number of different sites with my "good" knowledge, all validating and using all kinds of good practices. MSIE has been more of a pain in the ass than ever (I actually favored it back in the days of crap code, and bashed Netscape for doing things "incorrectly"). They have all taken way too long to develop each, and all because of one thing: I'm a perfectionist. Or I was. Or I am, but I slowly realized that nothing can be "perfect", unless you get to control everything yourself. So I force myself to release stuff.
You see... I'm a game programmer at heart. I don't really wanna do this. But, I realize that the kind of games I made, and want to make in the future, would be completely impossible to sell and live of. So I have tried to make a profit of the only thing I really know something about -- the Web. And, as I began this thread by saying, I have failed. Big time.
Now, before you jump to any conclusions, I want to really make sure that you understand my situation. I've graduated from high school. I hardly remember going there, though. It's a fog of bad memories. It was full of, in my opinion, very hard and annoying tests and homework (mostly in physics and math), and as time passed, I started socialize less and less with my friends. In the end, we had basically grown apart (even though I always considered myself as an outsider). I'm not a team player, and I love getting things done "right". Working on my personal projects (always in pluralism) have been the #1 priority (and #1 stress cause) for me since the age of ~12.
I'm writing this post and publishing it here just because I know that if I make it a blog entry, it might not stay there for long. I hate myself for being this "volatile", but I can't keep satisfied with anything I do. At least if it's Web related. There's something special about the Web. Most likely, it's the fact that you don't get to control exactly what is shown on the user's screen. That's precisely the case with game programming. You get, for example, a 320 x 240 pixel frame, and you get to paint it with pixels exactly the way you want. It's art. On the Web, the user can turn off styling, images (or both), zoom, change font sizes, the style of the fonts (GOD I hate the "standard" "Web fonts"), etc... You get my point? Good. (Of course, we have the issue of incorrect gamma settings of the users' computer screens and things like that with software/games too, but that's a problem of much less importance.)
So... I've failed. I thought I was smart enough to SEO my way to success, but, judging my my daily AdSense and affiliate program average incomes, I'm not after all. I make $2-4/day, and that's just barely covering my hosting costs. This makes me wanna scream and cry out loud.
My philosophy is that a site should not contain anything unnecessary. For example, a "login" form should have its own section, and should not be output on every page. All Web pages must validate and be written with good practice in mind for me to "accept" them as "real" ones. Of course, very few Web sties on the Web fulfil these requirements of mine. I guess that makes me feel special. Even my porn site(s) validate. I take great pride in doing things right.
But WHO REALLY CARES? As I can see it, next to nobody. A few elitistic geeks like myself appreciate it, and perhaps blind/disabled people (although I don't see how they even would bother finding my sites in the ocean of crap out there). I do all these insane extra work for nothing. While people make tons of cash with their auto-generated Web sites using WYSIWYG editors and/or SEO generators, I go through every byte in my CSS and PHP (outputting HTML 4.01 Strict) files fanatically, several times. For what? Nobody gives a #*$! anyway.
If it weren't for MSIE, and the fact that both HTML and CSS are rather poorly designed languages from the beginning, I wouldn't mind at all. I love writing things by hand and having 100% control over it... it's just that I don't.
"Where the hell is this thread going?" you might think. I don't know. I'm seriously just writing what's on my mind. And there's a lot of sad and depressing things on my mind at the moment.
So... where was I? Oh. Education. Well... after high school, around one year ago, I joined a local college, very close to that high school. In other words, I didn't "move out" to a "campus" or whatever they call it. It sucked. That's the best word I can use to describe it. Naturally, it was nothing like in those American movies. I quit after one course (one month). This made my mum go nuts and she forced me to get a job. So I eventually got a really crappy job at a local low-price store. I tell you... I just can't fake being happy to customers. It lasted for a week.
Since, I've tried extra hard with my projects. In last year of high school, I was working on an auctions Web site on an off, but after eBay's invasion of Sweden, I had two extremely powerful enemies to fight, and I had to give that idea up. It turned into a "classifieds" site instead, but then I realized that in tiny Sweden, there's AT LEAST 14 (!) different ones that are big and established and that can afford advertising. One even has been bought up by Sweden's largest newspaper and has TV ads and a printed (physical) version... Do I need to tell you that they all are bad UI-wise and that none of them validate, are full of bull#*$! and generally are worse than my own? Good.
You seem to either need money to make more money, or a lot of luck. I have neither. Do I complain a lot? Come on... be original. I'm just saying how it is, OK?
I'm not gonna waste time by telling you about my other projects, because, frankly, when I look at them now, they feel more like advanced tests of my skills, rather than functioning, stable Web sites. And as always, I constantly make little changes to them to "perfect" them, although they never get anywhere close to my mental image.
The bottom point is that I don't make money. I lose money if anything. Now, when I have seriously woken up from my "mental coma", I realize that my life looks a bit different now from when I entered this... phase. I should get my own place to live, a girlfriend (good luck with that...), maybe travel to some of the places I've always wanted to go to (NY, Las Vegas, USA in general, Tokyo)... All of these require money. So I'm stuck in an evil circle. In order to be happy, I need money. Seriously. If I'm not happy, or at least happIER than I am now, I won't have the energy to continue trying to make a living. What the hell happens then?
Still, I have many unfinished game projects to take care of (and a whole bunch of new ones), and at least one programming book to read that has been neglected for so long. I haven't really changed (that's a good thing IMO), but my outlook is different. I need a stable income somehow, and as I see it, the Internet and more precisely AdSense is the only way to go for me, in my situation and my life. I just need to figure out HOW EXACTLY I'm gonna make the big bucks with people like you around (take that as a compliment!).
The worst part of all this cynicism is that I can't really take your suggestions seriously. I'd think that you want to see me fail so that your positions stand untouched. Who in their right mind would give a way a suggestion about SEO or generally in a competive business market if that's negative for the person giving this advice?
I realize that SEO is more than pressing a magic button. Believe me. I'd like to think that I understand the Web and search engines, and yet... well... I tend to say that I don't have resources enough, but I know deep inside that that's not the entire truth in all cases. However, pretty much every damn combination of words in a .com domain name are taken, and often, they aren't even used for re-directing to some rich persons' site(s), but is just occupied, unused, for no reason! That really pisses me off.
This thread is getting way too long now, but perhaps that'll make only those who might be able to come with some kind of constructive suggestion reply. I don't know. I frankly don't get people anymore. Not like I ever did.
Just a little more random blabbering: I have a site, with an actual good domain (.se). Despite it having the exact string as the domain name, the string AND domain AND variations mentioned in the title, the h1, and elsewhere on every page, it ranks #2 for a search on this very term. The #1 is not even remotely similar. This pisses me off greatly. (This only happens in Google -- in MSN Search, it's #1.)
To all of you who haven't been over what I have experienced: think twice before you think that you can beat the established sites, no matter how crappy they are (and no matter how good your own stuff is), and/or the ones with the bags of money with dollar signs on them. You may not stand a chance. I didn't, even though I did my very best.
I don't know what to do, really. I really believe(d) in this. I'm not one of those who expect money to come easy, but I have really put my soul in this. That's what makes this whole thing so sad.
It's not fair. I knew that life isn't fair, but what the hell? At least this thing could've come my way. Do I sound depressed? Frustrated? Desperate? Mad? You bet I am.
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It'll be very interesting reading your replies.
If you get a job
A job is just a place to go where you trade your skills and time for money.
Some jobs can be interesting, you might like the people at the job, but it is nothing more than that.
When you have a job you are an expense to the company. You are a number in their ledger. When times get tight, you get fired.
there are no good jobs. There are places to go where you trade your skills and your time for money.
Nothing more.
I'll go back to my story about the craft I was so good at when I was a kid. Fast forward years later, when I am an adult. I worked with someone I went to high school with—only I didn't remember her. I don't remember much about high school. I got by, but didn't like it much. This coworker (who I went to high school with) says, "I remember you were always so engrossed in [the craft] that you didn't notice anything else." My response was along the line of "Yeah, so?" But I could tell that she thought I'd missed out on a lot. I didn't see it that way.
My obsessive desire for excellence in that craft has paid off today. Will always pay off. I feel pride in the accomplishment. There are some things that can't be done the "short" way, or the automated way—you have more control or power knowing how to do it all, without any shortcuts. Those who only know how to use the shortcuts have limits that I do not. (Same goes for web design, and many other skills.)
I found that as time passed, I learned to use the skill I had developed in this craft for many things. I fleshed out my skill in this craft. I learned to loosen up with it (like my friend, who had less skill but more passion). The more well-rounded I became, the more success I had.
I also explored other hobbies, crafts, and interests. That's what college (and life) is for. A little bit of this, a little bit of that. I now have some diverse interests, and find new things that interest me all the time. And I write web sites about them. I have a passion for the things I write about. But that one particular craft will always be my "first love."
Because the OP has spent so much time perfecting his skills, he will be way ahead of the curve, have more control and flexibility in the sorts of web sites he creates. Now what he should is relax a little, broaden his horizons, and find some things that he feels passion about. Butterfly collection, train spotting, game programming, Photoshop tutorials—hey, whatever! There's so many niche subjects to explore. And many of them make great topics for web sites. (If what he wants to do is make money on his own sites and personal projects, which I assume he does.) When he finds more topics to write sites about, he can have fun developing the "craft" part of the site (programming, perfect code), but he'll also have a site that covers a topic that is enthralling and interesting to him, and moreover, will be interesting to the site's visitors.
[edited by: crescenta at 6:52 pm (utc) on Sep. 15, 2005]
I didn't say they were like living in heaven but a job pays your way until you get where you want to be.
Well here are a few suggestions
1 Get a booring job 9 - 5 for the time being to provide the essentials ( when your feeling P? off think about how in? years you will be back in charge of your own destiny
2 You have a distinct advantage over many other webmasters as you have learnt and take pride in coding correctly ( why not create a site with a forum based on that ) pass on those skills to others, don't become to embedded in SEO the webmaster community jungle drums are some of the best in the world ( remember that is one of the main reasons Google grew so quickly )
3 Try to change your outlook and look at problems you have encountered and will encounter as good things as they provide more knowledge for future challenges
4 Below is another important thing you need
YOU MUST FOR YOUR OWN SANITY seek out and find a way for social interaction it's as important as eating and breathing even for webmasters
and don't give up
and the very best of luck
steve
In order to be happy, I need money.
That is one of the bigget misconceptions that I ever fell for. I'm semi-retired, flat broke most of the time, and happier than I've even been in my life (generally speaking). I had to learn a few things along the way to get to this point. And I had to lose a few things before I truly realized that I could live without them.
Besides all that, you failed? I don't believe it. First of all, you're 20 years old. You haven't had time to fail. As for your projects, I'm just geek enough to take interest. You should see some of the scripts I've managed to cobble together, and the results that they produce. Some people would drool for the type of information that I can provide, for the cost that require (yes, I do need a few bucks every now and then), but the main person that I do this work for cannot understand the need or the value. It seems that I'm constantly having to justify my existence! That's the background. The point? I am a very successful programmer. Sure, there are others better than myself. But after almost 20 years of tapping out code I know what I can do. And I'm good at it. My happiness and sense of self-worth have nothing to do with money.
I'm twice your age and have probably half your skills. But many of the comments in your post strike a close chord with me. Especially
I take great pride in doing things right.But WHO REALLY CARES? As I can see it, next to nobody.....
You're right. Absolutely completely correct. So you think you've failed?
AT 20?
Just because you're the only one that sees a vision doesn't make that vision any less REAL.
The reason we keep plodding along, keeping up with the technology, doing what we do, and doing it as right as we can, will always be an internal drive. It doesn't matter that you're the only one that believes in it; what matters is that you do. This is the only thing that is going to separate you from the rest of the world, believing in yourself.
My wife watches over my shoulder at the thousands of lines of code that scroll by, at the meaningless symbols and markings, and can't begin to understand what I'm seeing. And I couldn't begin to explain it to her.
In this aspect, I'm alone. You can try to verbalize it, explain it, but nothing can bring it out. This is a fact, this is where we are. This is what we do.
So get used to this part: you will always be alone with this struggle. Nothing will change that. But that's OK: believe in yourself, believe in your vision, and don't let go!
I have started to force myself to release/publish stuff. This means that I know that things will need many bug fixes, that I'll change a lot of things, and that all this will make me feel bad, but most importantly, it makes me feel that I actually change the IMO good foundation to something better.
This was the case with my main project. One day, after so many hours of work and late nights totally dropping it and starting over, copying small parts into new files and reading them over and over, I just went through it one last time and uploaded it. Then, I started changing it a little every day and fixing/adding things, while spiders could come visit and the few users at least had the possibility to use the service.
I see my perfectionism as a curse when it comes to the Web. Most of the "beauty" in my sites lay on the server side, so nobody but myself is ever going to see it.
I have had many sources of inspiration. In the beginning, I always tried to imitate these, but failed or made a too obvious copy. I sometimes feel like I should start totally over. From scratch. But I've already wasted too much effort and money (domains, hosting) to be able to delete everything. I figure that they might as well stay online until I have a good reason to abandon them. After all, each project has taught me a lot.
Sometimes, I even feel like changing my name and move someplace and REALLY start over. But that's just unrealistic. I have learned to see the cold and boring reality. Everything has already been discovered and everything has been invented/done.
All my ideas look better inside my head, as I'm sure that projects in general do to people. The sites I have online are a tiny next-to-nothing fraction of all my ideas and actual worked-on projects.
(One positive note: today, my provider of goods for my Web store in production changed its downloadable inventory file to CSV from XSL, so I can now read it without having to go through a hell of nasty hacks.)
I like the maturity of this forum. I myself fear getting older, and I think that I'm very "childish" in a lot of senses, but that doesn't mean I like the new Internet culture. In fact, I hate it. I'm pretty odd. I like older hardware and technology, because of its attitude and simplicity. I'm fascinated about stuff I have never done and/or missed (phreaking, primitive remote computer system cracking, gathering a few PCs and actually getting Doom to work in a LAN at the time, etc...).
And now I'm drifting further and further away from the topic... Thank you for your (mostly) uplifting words. WW is a nice place after all!
Think I'm overreacting? Take a look...
I've failed.
I've wasted basically my entire "teen" years
I, of course, blame my parents for not being able to start earlier.
I'm a perfectionist. Or I was. Or I am, but I slowly realized that nothing can be "perfect"
I started socialize less and less with my friends
I hate myself
I thought I was smart enough
I don't know. I'm seriously just writing what's on my mind. And there's a lot of sad and depressing things on my mind at the moment.
I quit after one course
I'm not gonna waste time by telling you about my other projects
So I'm stuck in an evil circle. In order to be happy, I need money. Seriously. If I'm not happy, or at least happIER than I am now, I won't have the energy to continue trying to make a living. What the hell happens then?
I can't really take your suggestions seriously. I'd think that you want to see me fail so that your positions stand untouched.
Seeing the pattern? If you know anything about clinical depression, you do. The real clincher, though, is this...
I don't know what to do
The reality is that some people - because of their past, their chemical composition, whatever - simply cannot get past that last one alone.
If this is really how you feel, I urge you to find a qualified person to talk to. A counselor, a psychiatrist, even a guidance councelor at your old school or that college you went to once. The point is that if you're feeling this way, if you're really feeling this way, no amount of responses here is going to pull you out of it. By your own admission, you already know the keys to success, but it's not making you happy. It's a cliche, I know, but in my experience it's the absolute truth...happiness is not a destination. Acheiving something is not going to make a depressed person happy. I'm not saying you ARE depressed (I'm not in any position, even if you were sitting in a room with me, to say one way or the other), but I've battled it myself, and have been around as loved ones battled it, too, and I can tell you two things: (1) You don't have to keep feeling this way. There really are ways to turn around the thinking in your brain and mould a new outlook on life, and (2) You can't do it alone.
Talk to someone. Web code does not hold the answer to your happiness. Brain code does.
Good luck, and for what it's worth, I'm truly sorry that you're feeling the way that you do.
cEM
1.) Surround yourself with successful people -- online (like here) and off.
2.) Learn to see your past failures as lessons towards future success. You wouldn't repeat what you you did and 'failed' with, would you?
But two things stuck out for me. Others have mentioned one of them--this person has little experience. I thought back to what I was doing when I was 20. By that time, I had dropped out of art school, had been arrested and jailed numerous times for my beliefs, had lived in a commune, had begun to practice magick, had done a lot of drugs, and I was working at a factory making pressure gauges. Those things were not a waste of time. I learned how to talk to anyone about anything, how to go anywhere and make a living there, and I met tons of interesting people who made me think about the world in a completely different way. Those adventures made me a person who could then go on and have many, many adventures and several different careers. My life has been very interesting, and I am sure a great deal of that is due to the way I started out.
So I concur with others who think this guy needs to get out there and have himself a life outside of the computer. Having adventures not only teaches life skills but builds confidence. And I tell you what--participating in rpg as an alchemist does not hold a candle to being a real alchemist.
The other thing, though, is the perfectionism. I have this problem myself, and it can be helpful in some professions but also really stifling. It kept me from publishing a lot more of my writing than I did, for instance, because it was never good enough. Recently, as I dilly-dallied with my novel I have been tinkering with for the past fricking 10 years, I found that someone had downloaded my entire site and was selling it on ebay as a book for $12.95. Boy, did that ever make me mad. But when I calmed down I saw that this thief and the people who bought the book from her all considered that my knowledge and writing level were quite sufficient. So now I am working on a non-fiction book I will have done by the end of the year and sell and go on to the next one, so that when I retire I can finally finish that damned novel.
But what I mean to say is, better get the heck over that perfectionism NOW, bud. Because that is going to trip you up again and again and again, and you have no one to blame but yourself for it. Maybe take the advice of one of my professor's in art school: "Always stop before you're finished." Or perhaps the Navajo perspective on it: nothing you make must ever be perfect, or it will trap your soul.
If you were in the USA I'd recommend you join the military for a few years. It is probably the best way for a highly sheltered young person to pay the bills, learn to interact with pretty much every type of person and have a few adventures away from home.
Given you aren't in the states I don't know if that would be any sort of option for you.
Freq---
Everything has already been discovered and everything has been invented/done.
This is so true! So why bother, right?
The answer to this is simple. We are different for a REASON. Everything we contribute is different in the slightest way, and that is WORTHY.
You should really take createErrorMsg's advice, as it seems nothing anyone is saying here is **really** getting through.
Dude (or dudette :-) ) like I said I'm twice your age and probably have half your skills. If YOU feel this way . . .well crap, I should probably fall on my sword.
But my wife would kill me.
It doesn't look this way now, but you have so much to look forward to. Check back on createErrorMsg's advice, it's the most common-sense advice here.
I found that someone had downloaded my entire site and was selling it on ebay as a book for $12.95.
Just reading that makes ME mad...
it seems nothing anyone is saying here is **really** getting through.
If you by that mean that I don't seem to read and "get" the posts, you're wrong. I read and appreciate them all... :/
I see my perfectionism as a curse when it comes to the Web. Most of the "beauty" in my sites lay on the server side, so nobody but myself is ever going to see it.
I cannot sing, I cannot draw.
I am more on the server side than anything else
And yes I often didn't care about SEO and tweaked an already tweaked area
What really matters is that in my mind I have a vision of my script and of its rendering
Indeed I am not a marketer king
What did I do?
Team up with a marketer
and do what I prefer best.
Being depressed and being dramatic about it ("I've failed") is part of being a teenager.
I don't think it requires therapy unless the person is considering suicide.
Horrible advice, every person deserves to feel happy and positive about life. Just because a person isn't sad enough to think about ending their life doesn't mean they shouldn't reach out for help.
If your not happy about aspects of your life and your not having any luck dealing with it on your own, then ask for help. Some people have great parents or friends that they can turn to for advice, if you don't have that I think a counselor is a great option.
[edited by: jatar_k at 10:56 pm (utc) on Sep. 16, 2005]
[edit reason] fixed quote tag [/edit]
>>>must say one thing: Quite frankly, this talk about getting professional help is just... stupid. I am painfully aware of my situation, and all I
need is for some good things to happen that I really can't do too much to control anymore.<<<<
Don't look at help as weakness-it's wiseness.
And this technology we have today is nothing compared to what you will see in your lifetime. Somewhere is somebody working on something that will revolutionize all of our lives. My uncle in 1991 said "why the hell will anyone ever need a computer in their home. That's for scientists and engineers".
If you by that mean that I don't seem to read and "get" the posts, you're wrong. I read and appreciate them all... :/
No. Just that if one wants to obtain peace of mind, they will. If they don't, they won't. None of us (or I'm not, for sure) are professionals at helping you see that.
You have a lot going for you, if I feel anything at all it would be a sort of jealousy, to be 20 again and have a world of possibilities ahead of me.
there are no good jobs. There are places to go where you trade your skills and your time for money.Nothing more.
I've had several good jobs. I traded my sweat so I could be around very smart people. I worked my tail off for them. In return, they taught how to be what I am today. Sometimes they knew they were teaching me something, and sometimes I was just watching. They gave me a little money too, but nothing much to speak of.
I shudder to think what I could learn at a supermarket, especially given acces to the right people.
KimmoA...
I must say one thing: Quite frankly, this talk about getting professional help is just... stupid. I am painfully aware of my situation, and all I need is for some good things to happen that I really can't do too much to control anymore.
I don't know if you need help or not. It's obvious that you need change.
The biggest change in my life occurred when I decided that I was responsible for everything that happened to me. EVERYTHING... a fride falling out of a window on my head, I don't care... it was my fault somehow, and I was responsible for it. So, there I was, with almost nothing, and it was also all my fault. That sucked.
I was 24 and had never used a computer. (that was rare at the time.) I was headed nowhere. I had friends and girls, but they all seemed to be heading nowhere too.
I packed up my meager belogings (believe me... they were MEAGER), moved several hours away near a college, and worked until I could save tuition for one semester. No reason to keep going here, since I'm not writing a biography. (particularly one that nobody would want to read.)
The bigger point, is that if you can bring yourself to start taking responsibility for everything, then you are responsible for either finding solutions, or responsible for consistently standing still or going backwards. It becomes a motivator.
this talk about getting professional help is just... stupid.
Awe Contraire. I remember once in my life when I had it all together. I stopped my abusive behaviour (drinking and drugging), graduated from college (the only kid of 7 to do so) and had become a professional. The world was my oyster. So why was I still depressed? After 8 years of professional counseling I understood myself better than I ever had before. The trick (at least for me) was to find someone I could trust 100%. That person knows me as well as I know myself, with one advantage. That person looks at me objectively. I tend not to do that. That was all a few years back, and to this day I still make the occassional phone call.. mostly to say thanks but sometimes to mull over a situation.
(BTW... is there a bug in this forum software, or do some people tend to post posts twice?)
BTW is it just me or was the consumption of lysergic acid derivatives particularly contributory to ones taking to coding like a chocolate fish to the cosmos?
Or maybe it was just all those artschool parties ;)
Example:
You build a dating website, guy markets it gets loads of users. Both of you win.
Ok nothings as easy as that but all you need is an idea then find someone to market it!
The idea was to sell that on the internet.
Problem is, I don't really know how, so I'd have to scrape the contents
and I just can't see myself doing that.
Call it naivete', foolish pride, puritanism or whatever,
but I would swallow live goldfish before I scraped somebody else's content. -Larry
So you see KimmoA, you've actually done a good deed here and should feel proud of it. I'm sure others will gain a lot from this thread too.
Please don't look at it as if I had gained a strategic advantage over your hardships. I didn't. I'll inspire myself from this thread, and through the force of the cosmos, eventually, it will get back to you.
Thanks to all and cheers
My affiliate account made few hundred SEKs today, so I'm temporarily happy and have a little more energy to work. :)
Find a girl, play a sport in your community, go out and have some fun. I'd say you need some hobbies that aren't your work.
[edited by: tedster at 4:21 pm (utc) on Sep. 17, 2005]
There should be other things in life that make you happy besides just your work.
Well... the game creating. It's never gonna make me a dime, and I love(d) it. I can't wait to get back to it.
Find a girl
Much easier said than done.
play a sport
Not a sports person. Never been.
go out and have some fun
Hardly anything around here I would want to do, really. I want to get rich enough to go to a vacation to the places I mentioned in my original post (I think).
this talk about getting professional help is just... stupid.
I'm sorry to hear you feel that way.
cEM
