Forum Moderators: phranque
Just reading the subject lines (before I banish them to the nether regions of the cyber world) ... annoys the hell out of me! Not because they may be offensive, slightly off colour, or even a little lude ... but because they are just plain stupid or make no sense at all!
Do spammers not realize that anyone with even half a brain can tell from the subject line that there is no chance in hell I/we will open their damned mail? From the grotty to the sublime, these people have no idea what will make me open an e:mail. Is there a marketing person amongst the bunch of them ... or are they just 100% complete and utter losers? Let's do a wee survey of a test lot. These are a few which I rec'd tonight. No editing was involved and I only copied the first lot from the first page of my mail washer.
You tell me what these people are trying to get me to buy and what ... on God's green earth do they think (from their subject line) will make me open their mail?
Start Your Own Home Business with SMC
I have a home business and no time for you ... NEXT!
Guaranteed 1st Page Search Engine Results
Yeah ... and I could win the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes tomorrow (rignt sweety?) ... NEXT!
Pay Hundreds Less Than Bowflex
And then what? Do I have to do anything? NEXT!
angelina jolie's erotic video dusug
Who? What? ... NEXT!
Fwd: one quick question
If its that quick, put it in the subject line you moron! NEXT!
mnccucizs finance grand rat racing can bč ...
Ermmm? NEXT!
You Owe It To Yourself qhjr hs
Yes I do! Zap! ... NEXT!
Fw[8]:Get your Valum and Xanax on our web...
OH sweety, you need to stop taking that stuff before writing subject lines! NEXT!
send6@kawaneba.net =?iso-2022-jp?B?GyRCTCQ+NUJ6OS05cCIoIXlFXT...
easy system recovery
What the hell is so easy about your system/subject line you bloody moron you?! NEXT!
New! Spring Cleaning 6.0 - Save 40% off th...
Save 40% off what? Windex? ... Clorox? ... Tide? ... Tidy Bowl? What for God sake? NEXT!
StuffIt Deluxe 7.0: The Complete Compressi...
Tell me to Stuffit will you? I'll give you your deluxe and then ..... NEXT!
only you will know
I already know what "only I will know" so bug off! NEXT!
Marlboros only 15 Bucks/carton including s...
Hate Marlboros ... (This one, I might have opened if cigarettes weren't so damned cheap here!
Low Cost Health Insurance
And where exactly do I go for treatment? NEXT!
Re: seen this?
Probably! NEXT!
Free 30 Day Supply of Phentermine!
Whatever that cures ... I don't have it. Thanks for thinking of me! :) NEXT!
FWD: only the best facialle humiliationn-s...
Say what? NEXT!
Served in the Military?
And if I did ... so what ... ya wanna fight? NEXT!
Please Call Me
SURE! Wait beside your phone between 3:00 am and 7:00 tomorrow. I'll call you as soon as I get a chance ... I promise! :) NEXT!
Who knew?
Who cares? NEXT!
Re: hey you vh
Hey you gb!? ... NEXT
have hundreds of lenders help you get the ...
Get "the" what? Creditors off my back? Gecko crap off my windows? Ring around my toilet bowl gone forever? House of my dreams? Man of my dreams?
OK ... I know exactly what hundreds of lenders will help me get! The answer is:
Another day older and deeper in dept! Right? NEXT!
And now for a wee prayer:
Lord, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people
I had to kill because they pissed me off!
Learn to write a decent subject line for heaven's sake!
That's all I ask! Its not much ... but for God's sake, if you are going to take the time to send me an e:mail ... and force me to take the time to read your *&% $#@@&^ subject line ... then bloody well do it right!
Grab me! Rock my world! Come on ... I know you can do better than ... "Hey you vh"! :(
relaiable service, 99% efficency.
your mail brought me memories of times before i hade messagelabs.com Anti virus/Anti Spam and Anti Pronography installed.
I am not associated with them in any way, just a VERY satisfied customer.
for a better Internet
Pretty good subject line on this thread, too!
How about
Live in a tent on the beach!
Although this thread may end up in foo, I have to say that it will make wading through my filtered e-mail much more amusing - at least for a couple of days...
I'll be thinking, "What would Liane think of this one?"
(Still laughing)
Thanks,
Jim
Re: details
Re: approved
Re: my details
Re: Thankyou!
Re: That movie
Re: wicked screensaver
Re: your application
Your details
Thankyou
were able to spread the "SoBig" virus across the internet?
I was attempting to get the message across that the majority of people write very poor subject lines in their e:mails.
Spammers are notorious for it ... which is why I used their subject lines as a "for instance". However, many of us are guilty of the same thing in regards to more mundane subjects to do with our daily lives.
We have a bad habit of using the same subject line time and time again ... even when the subject may pertain to an entirely different subject than the original topic.
We are lazy! and our e:mail messages prove my point.
Worse than that, if we are trying to sell something, the only way someone will open that message is if the subject line is of interest to them personally.
I used a very underhanded technique to make people view this thread by including the word "sex" in the subject line. My apologies for being so crass ... but it worked!
The thing is, did any of you read the sub text? If so, is that what made you open this thread?
Live in a tent on the beach!
It was a 45 foot, deluxe bloody container with two ... count em TWO ... whirlybird type vents on the top that I installed myself!
Let's not get personal here ... I was trying to be serious about a subject matter that truly irks me on a daily basis!
;)
And yes, read the sub-text, too.
Bad subject lines in e-mail, bad titles and descriptions on Web sites, and even bad titles and sub-titles here on WebmasterWorld! The reasons may be somewhat different, but the result is the same - lower click-throughs.
Jim
but the result is the same - lower click-throughs.
Exactly Jim. Go to the head of the class! ;)
Now what do we do about this much ignored problem?
Jordan
p-lease.
I feel yer frustrations. I quit myself, bought a cell phone.
The last thing we want to do is teach the spammers how to write good subject lines. We would end up opening the damn things.... lol
The only problem is keeping my address book up to date so I dont lose any important mail.
But please, don't give the spammers any tips. Right now, they're pretty easy to spot.
That means that I would have had to have sent the email message subject line first, and they are replying with a "Regarding" subject.
Unless you have the short-term memory of a goldfish, it's pretty easy to remember if you have sent a message with the subject line of the email.
Why would anyone open an email with RE: and any subject that they never sent?
> Is there a marketing person amongst the bunch of them?
Resounding yes.
Some reality spam:
South Florida is spam country (together with Australia and other countries). We know a few large operations that are *professionally* run and extremely profitable. If it is happening, it's because there is juice. Period.
I hate spammers as much as anyone on this thread, but putting aside that they may not write the best attention-grabber lines, they know exactly what they are doing.
I would not belittle them and regard them as just a nuissance. Some are organized groups that work in tandem and have lists of hosting companies worldwide who claim to be spam free but under the table are quick to cut deals with spammers who pay big bucks for launching millions of emails per day for a fortnight run.
regardless what this "dusug" means i am buying .....:)
The problem with that scenario is that spammers rarely use their own info in the email addresses they use, so such retaliation would often hurt innocent people.
More than one person (myself among them) has complained on these boards about receiving bounce messages for emails they never sent, because some spammer was "borrowing" their domain name for a mailout.
>>anyone with even half a brain
Ahhhh... but the crap they're selling isn't for anyone with half a brain....
Nick
> Do spammers not realize that anyone with even half a brain can tell from the subject line that there is no chance in hell I/we will open their damned mail?
No.
Thing is guys - there are people who do open them, and the sorts of people that will open them, will click on the links and go to the site.
The spammers don't care about the advanced users. In fact, the spammers would far prefer to not send you an email at all, as it's a waste of their time as well. They know you are never going to read them/buy their product. Your receiving the mail is just a by-product of a mass mail-out. They're not targetting you.
But they work. People open them, read them and then go buy viagra. And the spammers make a lot of money out of it, and that's why it continues.
TJ
And the spammers make a lot of money out of it, and that's why it continues.
But do they? I'm sure there are some that do, but I have to wonder if the majority of the campaigns are total flops and it only continues because people get into the game thinking that it will work.
Reginald Hackenstein, Winston Fittipaldi, Bert Chirac, Jesus Sidebottom, Fiorbella Jones and the like. I'm sure that there some of these names exist somewhere, maybe, but it again fits into the 'just how stupid do they assume us to be?' bracket.
Och well, as others have said, we're not the target, I know.
Printed and stuck on my wall in front of me so I can laugh whenever I get an E-Mail
</note>
:D
S
Download this!
Open wide and try this you cretin!
Re: what's up.. xmzbr wo khtii
What's up where?
=?iso-8859-1?B?U3RvcCBDb2xsZWN0b3IgQ2FsbHM...
Sorry, I don't speak Doodangenese! But i4ti1t8539jljljaduou328ugjopwj 59g=m99 to you too!
The server is down
Can't get to your site
etc.
I suppose that's just life as someone who works on a lot of web sites.
But I have to agree with the previous comments: let's not help the spammers figure out what works. What a mistake that would be!
HEY {$recipient-name}! {$insert-subject} {$tracking-code}
--
Oops someone didn't read the instructions on their Spam-o-matic kit-on-a-CD.
HEY {$recipient-name}! {$insert-subject} {$tracking-code}
LOL :D Thats great!
Thanks. I needed that. Great sex, Liane!
but I have to wonder if the majority of the campaigns are total flops and it only continues because people get into the game thinking that it will work.
This is a very good point, and one which few people (especially tech. journalists) pick up on.
An advertising medium can only really be regarded as having "worked" if an advertiser returns to the same medium again - following a successful campaign.
People say: "SPAM must work otherwise we wouldn't get so much", when in reality all you maybe seeing is just a never ending stream of people "having a go", only to find out that it doesn't work.*
I've often thought the same thing about advertising on Yahoo! (by which I mean the great big rectangular ads that you ignore whilst using Yahoo! Mail or some other service - not paid for listings).
I do not know that any advertiser has ever returned to Yahoo! for a second campaign.
For all I know, all I see is a never ending stream of campaigns from the millions of companies worldwide who individually are finding out that advertising on Yahoo! doesn't work.
Of course this doesn't bother Yahoo!, since there are no end of companies ready to have a go at advertising with them. Yahoo! only has a problem once every company in the world has had a go. And since nobody likes to make public the fact that they wasted money on a campaign (combined with the attitude that since you wasted money, why not let your competitors), there is no market force to bring out into the open the fact that it doesn't work.
