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Trouble with spouse or family

How do you get them to understand what you are doing?

         

oregon

3:35 pm on May 10, 2006 (gmt 0)

10+ Year Member



Has anyone else had problems with their spouse, significant other,family or friends when you try to make them understand the value of what you are building?

I had a heated conversation with my husband last night. We rarely do that, but I was so mad.

He's been listening to all the ads about buying gold and mentioned a couple of months ago that we should by some. Yesterday he talked to a friend who had made $x,#*$!! in the last few months on the gold he bought. He was throwing a tizzy becuase we didn't do it.

I told him that if we were going to invest in anything right now it needed to be in promoting my web site becuase it was our future. I also informed him that I had made more than his friend in the last two months with hard work. And, that this hard work would build on itself and eventually bring in far more than that same amount of gold would. He said that wasn't the same becuase the smart thing is to make money from money not from work. Well, I happen to trust what I can do for myself more than what someone else can do for me.

He didn't get it. I've tried to explain the concept of building this business so we can retire from our every day jobs and live a comfortable life. Yes, I will have to continue to work on the site. But I enjoy that and will even more when I don't have to work full time doing my day job. Also, I can do the business from anywhere so we can move and we can do some traveling.

I know this type of a business is a concept most people do not understand. None of my friends have any desire to do something like this. I guess he will get it when we can quit out jobs.

Freedom

2:58 pm on May 13, 2006 (gmt 0)

WebmasterWorld Senior Member 10+ Year Member



I guess I win both ways because I've been doing what oregon does for 5 years and now earn $200/day. Then, I started investing in Gold about 2 years ago and I'm up $18,000 so far.

In both ways, I've made it work out for me.

voices

3:13 pm on May 13, 2006 (gmt 0)

10+ Year Member



Making your money work is always the smart thing. Money from my regular job pays my bills as it always has. Profits from my online work are invested.

I like to be busy, but I also get bored easily. I will always be working at something but it is very nice when you can choose what you want to do and don't have to worry about making money.

The great thing about making money online is that it didn't take much of an investment. Lots of time and little money.

What exactly do you have in mind when you say need to spend money on your business?

gregbo

9:21 pm on May 13, 2006 (gmt 0)

WebmasterWorld Senior Member 10+ Year Member



@oregon,

You should probably read the threads that pertain to "putting one's eggs in one's basket" with regards to AdSense.

You're making decent money now, which is great, but there is considerable reason for concern that AdSense (and ad-sponsored publishing in general) may not be as remunerative in the future as it is today.

Envision

6:27 am on May 14, 2006 (gmt 0)

10+ Year Member



I have been in the same situation myself. So much so, that my wife began calling my computer the other woman. When I began designing websites 6 years ago, It was just in hopes of being able to write off my computer addiction as a business expense. Now, I'm on pace to make mid 6 figures this year. Not to bad for someone without a college degree! I can say for sure that I don't hear anymore comments about how I'm "playing" on the computer. All I can say is stick to it. When the money starts to roll in, the attitudes sure do change in a hurry;)

joeking

2:41 pm on May 14, 2006 (gmt 0)

10+ Year Member



Has your husband's friend SOLD his gold? If not he hasn't made a penny. Whereas you . . .

voices

4:23 pm on May 14, 2006 (gmt 0)

10+ Year Member



Could be too late to go for the gold. Show your husband this thread and find some good investments for some of your profits. It doesn't have to be an either or thang. Like they always say in the investment world and the Google world. Diversify - Past performance is no guarantee of future results.

ispy

2:29 am on May 15, 2006 (gmt 0)



Now is not the time to buy gold. Go look at something which is unattractive like Healthcare and buy that. You never buy what people are raving about, this is the surest sign that it is the time to sell it, not buy it. You have to be tough to earn profits. The way you do this is having the balls to buy something which everyone else is not pumping their ego into at the moment.

hu12

5:03 am on May 15, 2006 (gmt 0)

10+ Year Member



was going to post something against gold but...

Since this thread was started on May 10, 2006 Gold went from $695oz hit a high of $714oz last friday. Every 1 dollar move in gold is $100. Thats $1900 in two days and $12,300 (from $591oz) since April 10, 2006.

That Buys alot of site promotion IMHO

Essex_boy

12:03 pm on May 15, 2006 (gmt 0)

WebmasterWorld Senior Member 10+ Year Member Top Contributors Of The Month



Ask yourself this, what would have happened if teh price had fallen? or stayed still?

I get sick of being asked well what do you do up there on that computer.....

Ask him this. What would he have done if you had not had your adsense cheques?

TheDonster

1:59 pm on May 16, 2006 (gmt 0)

10+ Year Member



One of the hardest parts for friends and family to understand is ecommerce. The reason I believe is because your store or site is virtual. You can't really invite your mother-in-law down to the store and show them how many employees work for you. I got my start on eBay and within 2 years made enough to pay for a Hawaiian vacation, a nice diamond, and married my girlfriend on the beach in Maui. Then when eBay started to tank, I built my own site, slapped AdSense on it and ended up incorporating in 2 countries. While my now-wife knows the value of my internet work, it does take a lot of time and effort. That time away from your loved ones is really what they have a hard time understanding. There is no easy answer but you really have to learn to balance your time appropriately.

CannonFodder

9:54 pm on May 16, 2006 (gmt 0)

10+ Year Member



I have the 'other woman' problem as well. My wife calls my computer my Mistress. I could think of worse ones to have.

Full time job, newborn and a 2 1/2 year old, computer hardware business and a website. Who needs a life?

Dan

LifeinAsia

10:17 pm on May 16, 2006 (gmt 0)

WebmasterWorld Administrator 10+ Year Member Top Contributors Of The Month



Since this thread was started on May 10, 2006 Gold went from $695oz hit a high of $714oz last friday. Every 1 dollar move in gold is $100.

Gold closed around $691 on May 15th. So anyone who would've jumped on the gold bandwagon on that date would have lost money. Gold is just like all other commodities/investments- it has its ups and downs.

Serious speculation pushed gold to $875 in Jan. 1980 before it tanked. Although it briefly hit $700 again, it quickly slid down to around $400 where it's mostly been since then. So anyone who jumped on the gold band wagon back during the last mania still hasn't recovered their initial investment (and that doesn't even take into account inflation).

Get-rich schemes are much more likely to lead to get-poor results. Continue to stick with the slow and steady income of AdSense. You have absolutely no control over the price of gold. But at least you have some control over your own work.

gregbo

8:49 pm on May 17, 2006 (gmt 0)

WebmasterWorld Senior Member 10+ Year Member



Get-rich schemes are much more likely to lead to get-poor results. Continue to stick with the slow and steady income of AdSense. You have absolutely no control over the price of gold. But at least you have some control over your own work.

Actually, I believe you have the same amount of control over the price that ads pay on your site as the price of gold.

luckychucky

8:59 pm on May 17, 2006 (gmt 0)

10+ Year Member



I think it's really weird how threads have been morphing like this into a discussion about Gold prices. I saw it happen in another thread...completely bizarre (and I'm in the precious metals biz, btw).

Moosetick

9:45 pm on May 17, 2006 (gmt 0)

10+ Year Member



It almost seems as if someone here has a gold website and is trying to drive interest in the topic hoping to lure a few people that way.

Historically, gold is a bad investment. The S&P has consistantly outperformed it for the last 50 years. Diversity is the key to good investing!

luckychucky

9:52 pm on May 17, 2006 (gmt 0)

10+ Year Member



Again: why are we discussing whether anything is a better or worse investment - in this thread, which is about the conflicts which arise within a webmaster's family over excessive work and the struggles/sacrifices required to launch and maintain an eCommerce website?

LifeinAsia

11:43 pm on May 17, 2006 (gmt 0)

WebmasterWorld Administrator 10+ Year Member Top Contributors Of The Month



Actually, I believe you have the same amount of control over the price that ads pay on your site as the price of gold.

Then you believe wrong. :)
See the numerous threads on the AdSense forum about how to improve earnings. Some quick ones:
- increase traffic to your site
- change placements of ads
- tweak colors to blend more with your site
- add ads to some pages, take out from others
All can lead to more control over your income than you can have over control of the price of gold.

So, bringing this back on topic, I'm just pointing out that when you invest in yourself, YOU have some control over your ROI. When you invest in markets, your ROI is mostly out of your control.

voices

11:49 pm on May 17, 2006 (gmt 0)

10+ Year Member



Why is it weird? She said her husband wanted to invest in gold.

Putting your money into things that make money, rather than buying things which eventually rot or wear out is the way to make money. That includes a business and investments. The good thing about the business is it keeps you busy so you aren't out buying things you don't need anyway.

Seems like her husband needs to do more research on investing. Sounds like a great way to start a new web site and make some money to invest.

gregbo

9:44 pm on May 18, 2006 (gmt 0)

WebmasterWorld Senior Member 10+ Year Member



All can lead to more control over your income than you can have over control of the price of gold.

Sure, provided the advertisers are still willing to pay. Increasing the number of clicks to your site without increasing the number of sales to the advertiser can lead to advertisers being unwilling to advertise on your site.

So, bringing this back on topic, I'm just pointing out that when you invest in yourself, YOU have some control over your ROI. When you invest in markets, your ROI is mostly out of your control.

I think you are not taking into account the fluidity of the advertising market.

LifeinAsia

10:06 pm on May 18, 2006 (gmt 0)

WebmasterWorld Administrator 10+ Year Member Top Contributors Of The Month



I think you are not taking into account the fluidity of the advertising market.

I am. That's why I said "some" control. As opposed to commodities markets over which you have no control.

gregbo

8:48 pm on May 19, 2006 (gmt 0)

WebmasterWorld Senior Member 10+ Year Member



I am. That's why I said "some" control. As opposed to commodities markets over which you have no control.

AdSense, YPN, etc. web publishers have little control over the price of ads (unless they are also advertisers). As a commodity trader, one has some control over the price of a scarce resource, provided one can get enough of that resource and that demand increases for it.

LifeinAsia

8:56 pm on May 19, 2006 (gmt 0)

WebmasterWorld Administrator 10+ Year Member Top Contributors Of The Month



Please go back to message 47 where I said,
I'm just pointing out that when you invest in yourself, YOU have some control over your ROI. When you invest in markets, your ROI is mostly out of your control.

I did not say you had control over price, I said you have some control over your ROI. There are numerous things that you can do to increase your revenue- create more pages, create better pages, etc.

The comparison was small-time publisher with small-time gold investor (with a few thousands of dollars to invest). Never did I make any comparison to commodities investors (presumably with millions of dollars to invest and who quite conceivably could have some influence on the markets).

hu12

10:13 pm on May 19, 2006 (gmt 0)

10+ Year Member



even with a few thousand dollars you do controll the timing, in which direction and under what market conditions (suply-demand, geo-political, ect..) your money enters and exits.

adsense is totaly dependent on indexing and traffic, which still doesnt = clicks. advertisers, not publishers have the controll of ROI as they can choose where, what and how much.

IMHO

gregbo

9:19 pm on May 20, 2006 (gmt 0)

WebmasterWorld Senior Member 10+ Year Member



@LifeInAsia,

If you go back to msg #43, you'll note that I wrote:

I believe you have the same amount of control over the price that ads pay on your site as the price of gold.

As to your last comment, it appears you are making my argument for me. Neither the small-time gold investor nor small-time publisher has much effect on the price of gold or ads, respectively (and thus, how much money they make from investing in gold or web publishing, respectively).

Getting back to the original point, I think @oregon's husband has legitimate concerns. All other things aside, Internet ads are not a scarce resource; neither are the web pages upon which they appear. The long-term viability of ad revenue, especially for the small-time publisher, is very much in doubt.

cabowabo

10:24 am on May 27, 2006 (gmt 0)

WebmasterWorld Senior Member 10+ Year Member



It's been a week since the last post, so hopefully this will activate it again ...

I'm frustrated. Would appreciate any insight from those who have somehow gotten through my situation.

A little background. Many years ago when I was struggling doing this, my spouse demanded that I quit and go and get a real job. I did get a real job, but I didn't quit the business (good thing). Now I make pretty decent money (mid-6s), and that is pretty cool when you look around your neighborhood and most families are living on $45k a year and you are bringing home 10 times that and life is good.

.... or so you thought.

"I always have to compete with that %$*# laptop"
"I hate that thing"
"When are you going to spend time with me?"

All classic statements. Now, I have read the posts about looking at it from the other side. And I can appreciate that. But here's the problem. When you TELL your spouse ahead of time and it still leads to a problem, that is where I have issues.

Example: Spouse asks me to do ABC. I agree and state that it means I will have to do XYZ later this evening. She agrees. I do ABC. Following ABC I turn on laptop to do XYZ. She explodes. I don't get to do XYZ. I miss the deadline for XYZ. I end up leaving the house at 4:30am to go for a drive and end up doing XYZ in the car with my AirCard.

What has my life become?

I don't want to turn into one of those people that starts drinking at 6am, but it is getting close.

CaboWabo

jessejump

4:30 pm on May 27, 2006 (gmt 0)

10+ Year Member



>>>>>> What has my life become?

If your post is serious and sincere - not just venting -
you both could probably benefit from talking a lot more about this - or even consider couples counseling - with a neutral person.

Looking for advice about computer overuse in an online forum is both ironic and probably unproductive - my advice included.

I'm not saying you do this, but there are a lot of people that are _seriously_ skewing their lives with computers just as there are others doing it other means.

Does typing LOL in a forum really equal making a buddy or nice woman laugh in person?

cabowabo

11:39 am on May 28, 2006 (gmt 0)

WebmasterWorld Senior Member 10+ Year Member



Looking for advice about computer overuse in an online forum is both ironic and probably unproductive - my advice included.

Agreed and great point. But I am not discussing overuse here - just trying to get my spouse to get it and understand better what is it I do, and trying to get some tips from others, because obviously, I'm doing it wrong. I work less than 40 hours a week due to staff and outsourcing, so it can't be the time ... I think it is the timing.

Cheers,

CaboWabo

bose

1:40 pm on May 28, 2006 (gmt 0)

10+ Year Member



I work less than 40 hours a week due to staff and outsourcing, so it can't be the time ... I think it is the timing.

Sounds like you are on the right track. Let her know you have done all of this (hiring staff, limiting your work hours, etc.) because you too value having quality family time.

Symptom: I feel I'm being neglected. You're too busy doing <insert your gripe KW here>

Real Cause: A Sense of Insecurity

Quick Fix: Spend quality time together -if small dozes dispensed frequently do not cure your blues, increase the frequency. Be careful though because this could set off a (possibly addictive) chain reaction that can spiral/grow out of proportion.

Real Fix: Spend less time dissecting Google Algo by chasing 100 (subtle) signals of quality. Listen to not-so-subtle signals of discontent showing up on your personal homepage. Figure out the real underlying issues.

Having said that, this may just be a matter of (mis)perception -a feeling of being neglected or being set aside. It could also be due to other underlying issues that may be silently brewing up beneath the surface. Having a pile of money may fix many anxieties and insecurities, but not all of 'em -especially the ones involving emotional issues, y'know. :)

Now if only someone would help me figure out why both of my Noise Canceling Headsets have gone missing ;)

Disclaimer: I ain't no shrink, FDC does not approve use of Noise Canceling Headsets as a cure for excessive spousal complaints, yada yada yada...

cabowabo

9:43 pm on May 28, 2006 (gmt 0)

WebmasterWorld Senior Member 10+ Year Member



Real Fix: Spend less time dissecting Google Algo by chasing 100 (subtle) signals of quality.

Geez. It is like you know exactly who I am ...

Great advice Bose, and I hope you fine those headphones ... and intact too boot.

Just took her to a B&B and had a lengthy discussion. Working out some compromises. Much thanks for pointing out the obvious that I was blind to see.

"I've got my eyes wide open, but haven't learned to see."

CaboWabo

bose

1:53 pm on May 29, 2006 (gmt 0)

10+ Year Member



Geez. It is like you know exactly who I am ...

Actually, seeing you have twice as many posts as I have and that you've joined this support group a year ahead of me, I just extrapolated from where I am. ;)

Working out some compromises.

Glad to hear that. Sure beats the following hypothetical (imminent) scenario:

Officer knocks on the door at 4:30 AM and says to the Lady:...Ma'am, I found your husband suspeciously entertaining himself using his laptop while parked in a remote/empty parking lot. Ain't that wierd, eh?
The Lady:...I know, but he is beyond help. Can you send him to some sort of rehab in stead of leaving him here? Just leave the laptop here.
The Officer:...Will be glad to Ma'am. Passes around a (collection) hat at the police station, everyone pitches in and send him off to the next Pubcon for group therapy.

Now you better not see an inspirational silver lining (idea) in there somewhere. :)

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