I'd think you'd have to get into specific products to find the answers you were looking for Sugarkane. The real meat of any db is in the structure details - those can only be discussed if the os/db is known.
Here is one I've bookmarked. A book on IBM db2:
[pdc.kth.se...]
>SQL? or just in general?
Any relational db really...
I agree that the really meaty stuff tends to be product specific, but there are some overarching principles (one-to-many and many-to-many relationships for example) that apply equally well to most DBs. These principles are usually touched on in product documentation, but with prior knowledge assumed and/or only in relation to how that product implements them.
What I'm looking for is a 'Relational Database Design for Dummies' type of thing.