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P.S. Actually had my first site that passed the Mac browser test without any tweaking just last week. All css and not one thing had to be adjusted, Woohoo!
Seems like the only way to handle this, if I want both the "native" button and the exact same button size across browsers/platforms, is with a browser conditional. Sigh.
I believe it is the outset one that will give you that button appearance you are looking for. I typically don't mess around much with button styles, most are used to seeing the default gray. I will of course css the font so it doesn't look out of whack with the rest of the content.
Another factor affecting button size is line-height. We often define font sizes without realizing that we are also affecting line height which can be interpreted differently. If I am styling button text I always specify both font-size and line-height explicitly.