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Google follows links. If you have links pointing to your site then google will be able to find your site via those links.
The more links you have the better. To an extent Google evaluates sites based on how popular they are. Popularite is based on the number of sites that find it "linkworthy".
Hope this helps.
One question. How old is your site?
It can take quite a while from launching a site, until it appears within the results. This is sometimes refered to as the "sandbox"
In my experience it can take anywhere from three to seven months for a site to be included in Google results.
As for getting into the search engines, you need in-links. It doesn't matter how many links you have from your site OUT to other sites. The spiders can't work backwards from those target sites back to your site. You need other sites, preferably already-indexed sites, to link to you. Other than that, try submitting (once) to DMoz. Lots of other search engines get their info from there. Just be willing to wait a while.