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Writing sales/product content

Better to use second or third person?

         

Hennatron

8:30 pm on Jul 22, 2004 (gmt 0)

10+ Year Member



I am writing content for an online service where I am trying to convince the decision maker for their business.

Has anyone got experience of writing this style of content - should I be aiming for second person (e.g. You can do this...) or third person (They can do this..). The service is applicable in both contexts.

There probably is no differnce, but at the same time I would like to hear any information from someone who may hvae tested these 2 approaches.

H

EileenC

9:10 pm on Jul 22, 2004 (gmt 0)

10+ Year Member



You want to speak TO your audience, not ABOUT your audience. Therefore, use second person.

Hennatron

9:10 am on Jul 23, 2004 (gmt 0)

10+ Year Member



thanks EileenC

H

lucertola

9:11 am on Jul 23, 2004 (gmt 0)

10+ Year Member



Agree with Eileenc, the thinking behind using 'you' is also that it is more modern, less formal & sounds less like brochureware...

One of the documents I usually prepare is a one-page overview for voice & tone -- goes over the materials they have (eg whether there is some existing copy that *must* go online) whether the tone & voice is consistent, how one or two competitors "talk" to customers & whether that tone & voice works or not...

Hennatron

11:15 am on Jul 23, 2004 (gmt 0)

10+ Year Member



great advice on the overview document lucertola - thanks.

H

Hawkgirl

2:13 am on Jul 25, 2004 (gmt 0)

WebmasterWorld Senior Member 10+ Year Member



Yep, using "you" is a great way to draw the reader in and get their buy-in.

Example:

If your copy reads, "Aren't you tired of widgets that always spontaneously combust when exposed to direct sunlight?" Then your target reader will think, "Yeah, I am tired of that happening!"

Then you've got the buy-in, your reader is much more invested in continuing on your site, and you've got a potential sale for your non-flammable widgets.