Here are my thoughts on your situation, taken from lessons I've learned and to-this-day apply in my own life. I hope you find them helpful.
In social psychology there is a concept which is called "locus of control."
I'm no psychologist, but I've been exposed to some theories here and there and this one has improved my life tremendously. I remember the first time I heard this strange phrase was in a talk by Brian Tracy. As Wikipedia so aptly puts it, "Locus of control in social psychology refers to the extent to which individuals believe that they can control events that affect them."
As I understand it, it goes like this:
People with an external
locus of control believe that their particular experiences in life (and subsequently, how those experiences make them feel
) are a result of circumstances outside of their control, and suffer much anger and frustration due to the feelings of helplessness that this belief creates when something inevitably goes wrong. Sound familiar?
What do you do? When you're taking hits from all sides and don't understand why, how do you deal?
People with an internal
locus of control believe that their particular experiences in life (and once again, how those experiences make them feel
) are mostly the result of the things they actually can control - I believe this refers to thoughts, beliefs, and behavior.
No matter what you do, no matter how much time and effort you invest, you can never control the actions of other people. Pinning your ability to experience happiness on this will always result in frustration when somebody inevitably does something that you don't like. The truth is, you don't know who it was or why they did it - and you probably never will. Maybe there was a completely understandable and valid reason for it, or maybe it was malicious. Chances are you will never know, and even if you did manage to find out, and settle this particular hiccup, another will inevitably follow beginning the whole process anew. It sucks, I've been there, and it feels like it's constantly one thing after another after another with no end in sight.
So the million-dollar question becomes "How can you create a condition inside of your own mind, that will allow you to sustain the good feelings you desire, regardless of what the world throws at you?"
I don't think it's really about forgiving and forgetting, then carrying on (I can't do that either). I think it's about turning your attention and focus inward and spending some time dismantling your internal algorithm to find out what core belief caused this past event to push "happiness" down past SERP #100 - and then consciously identifying and changing a bit of your core code that will allow you to walk away from these situations unfazed because while fires and neighbors can be good things for increasing your enjoyment of life, they need not be foundational or integral to it.
Look for examples in others. How do some non-violent prisoners find contentment when they are locked in an 8x10 cell? How do people who live in the worst conditions imaginable manage happiness? There are examples, and it's fascinating to read about them. I believe that finding happiness is about changing how your mind works, not how your neighborhood works.
Next time you to attend an industry event I'll come get you drunk and buy you a girl! ;)