That scare time is probably just a residual effect left over from Halloween, can't help you with that. But as far as an SEO tool goes you already have it -- your mind.
Our mind can outperform any software or script hands down. The easiest way to build a good foundation for SEO is to use your targeted search term in a meta search engine, something like IXQuick for example. Meta search engines like that take a consensus of numerous major sources of data so it is mostly unbiased.
From there it's easy. Just study the site that comes up in spot #1 and reverse engineer it. From that point tweak it a bit until you find the balance point to satisfy the search engine of your preference that you may be targeting.
The added benefit of approaching SEO in that manner is that you are not going to be held hostage to the algorithm of any one search portal. Your site will also remain stable throughout perpetual algorithm changes beyond your control.