"high server load" simply isn't enough information. You need to take a closer look at logs and see what's happening.
using my server IP against me
Do you mean, using your IP as a proxy? That would show up in logs as a request for a page with full protocol-plus-domain-- and the domain isn't your own. But if the host himself isn't blocking proxies, he's got a ### of a nerve complaining about any resultant server load :)
my host just told me
This post came in less than twenty minutes after the previous one :) That's not a lot of time to see any changes. When did you ban the offending IP?