SevenCubed - 3:29 am on Jan 19, 2013 (gmt 0)
AddHandler php-script .html -- It Works added to vhost.conf down the stream! That's the short answer.
I'll post a followup summary as soon as possible in the next couple days when I get a chance to catch my breath. There are many environmental variables in play here so it may not work for everyone. But I think this is new to recent versions of the combination of Ubuntu 12.04/Apache 2.2/PHP5/Plesk 11. I suspect there will be a flood of people looking for a solution like this as they upgrade like I'm doing. I also want to test it more as well as check logs to make sure it's not generating errors elsewhere but I'm too tired right now.
Gotta run, a sink full of dishes to wash in the kitchen -- mindless stress relief :)