rocknbil - 6:45 pm on Nov 15, 2005 (gmt 0)

I love these. Truncated list, # 3 is my favorite.

- woke up feeling so good today I decided to call in well and do something else.

- If it is all the same to you I won't be coming in to work. The voices told me to clean all the guns today.

- When I got up this morning I took two Ex-Lax in addition to my Prozac. I can't get off the john, but I feel good about it.

- I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. OK?

- Constipation has made me a walking time bomb.

-The dog ate my car keys. We're going to hitchhike to the vet.

- My mother-in-law has come back as one of the Undead and we must track her to her coffin to drive a stake through her heart and give her eternal peace. One day should do it.

- I can't come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter transportation.

- I prefer to remain an enigma.