ronin - 12:31 am on Jun 7, 2006 (gmt 0)

I'm glad most people are finding this sort of health drive does them good.

So far this year, I started going to the gym three times a week in January, gave up drinking Coke (which I loved) in February, mostly gave up eating crisps and chocolate in March, started eating a lot more fruit and veg in April (now up to 6 to 7 portions a day) and finally (finally!) gave up smoking in May.

I thought February was bad but now I think I have never felt so lonely or miserable or hated life so much.

I just went on holiday to enjoy the sunshine for two weeks and found it incredibly difficult to wake up in the morning almost every day - any dream seemed preferable to facing reality.

I am living in a nightmare world where my body is healthier and fitter than it has been at any point since I was a teenager and I find almost nothing in life to be happy or enthusiastic about any more.

I suppose I should conclude that health drives aren't for everyone. But somehow I want to give it a few more months and see if I do actually take an overdose or not.