Syzygy - 8:09 pm on Jun 5, 2006 (gmt 0)

I’ve now been a non-smoker for a full year! In that 12 months I’ve not smoked 9,120 cigarettes – that’s 456 packs – and not spent Ł2,325 (well, I now have twice as many cd’s and dvd’s as I did a year ago!).

Phew! I made it!

I put on a stone and a half in weight (21lbs/10kg) during that period and subsequently lost around 7lbs. Over the next 6-12 months I intend to lose most of the rest. I have to say though that I’m now fitter and faster than at any time since I was around 21 – 20 years ago. (Mind you, that’s not to say that I’m particularly fit, or fast!)

Right from the start I went to the smoking cessation clinic at the local health centre and took up a course of nicotine patches. As back up I also made use of nicotine inhalators – small white plastic things that you can puff on and fiddle with in the same way as you do with a cigarette (although walking around with something that looks like a tampon in your mouth can be a little off-putting!).

For three months the counsellor at the clinic - George - gave me much needed weekly support and endless morale boosting “well done’s”. (God Bless George, and the NHS!)

After about the first month though “strange” things started to happen – thoughts, emotions, frustrations and more - my world seemed to be changing for the worst; something was happening to me and I had no idea what.

I described what I felt to George and he just nodded sagely. He told me that for a rare few smokers who give up, the process of quitting triggers a reappraisal of life and everything in it. As I became fond of describing later on, quitting smoking triggered a sort of mid-life crisis – but ultimately without the crisis.

I gave up TV (still have and don’t miss it one tiny bit). I left Freemasonry – something that I’d held quite dear (ditto). More consequentially – I left the pub. (A dangerous dependency ended up being broken and, whilst I’m not teetotal, a couple of glasses of wine a week invariably seems quite adequate nowadays.)

A few weeks later, and once my head (and body) had stopped reeling from the effects of the withdrawal of just about everything, life started to take on a new, brighter hue.

Imbued with an unusual sense of self-confidence and having been single for a number of years, I joined a couple of internet dating sites (jeesh, what an experience!). Around this time I also started an evening course in web design at the nearby City University, with a view to furthering my inadequate abilities. They’re still woefully inadequate and I finally decided that in this realm I should stick to what concerns me most and stay focused on those matters where I at least have a little understanding – site management, content and marketing issues.

As the new year broke so the sun started to shine, and it continues to do so – very brightly.

Just a few weeks ago I met my mum for the first time. Well, that’s not strictly true: the last time we met I would have been around 18 months old – that was pretty much 40 years ago. Families – what tangled webs they can weave!

At the beginning of February, and courtesy of an internet dating site, a most amazing, incredible, intelligent, sexy woman said “hello”. A couple of weeks later we met up by the Thames, under London’s Millennium Bridge, and spend hours together chatting endlessly and as if we’d known each other all our lives.

We’ve spent three incredible months together to-date. She tells me wonderful things about myself that I never knew: she sees a different “me” than everyone else in the world. I didn’t know I existed in this way but apparently I do. Ah – what joys she brings. The world I live in now is not the one I merely existed in a year ago.

So, all told it really has been one hell of a year – and what a wonderful adventure, all brought about by a last cigarette smoked 12 months ago!

Happy days indeed. And if you made it this far - thanks for your patience and indulgence.

Syzygy