Wait! This is a classic! I know this one!
It should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to appear substantial, but short enough that you can quickly get to the good stuff.
No wait, that's not it...
It should be like a woman's skirt: shorter when the stock market is up, and longer when the stock market is down.
Dammit, that's not it either...
It should be like a woman's skirt: it should start at the top and go long enough to keep people from casting aspersions on your intentions.
No, that's not right. I see the problem now; it's not like a woman's skirt at all!
It should be like my dog: it should look short and fluffy from a distance, but when you get close it should sink it's teeth into your leg and not let you go until you click on an ad.
There! Got it!