Webwork - 1:51 pm on Jan 26, 2008 (gmt 0)

News Flash:

On Friday, November 25, 2014, the entire population of Los Angeles was wiped out by a spontaneous burst of wave energy, generated by a rare confluence of messaging events: Black Friday sales messages, a stock market collapse, American Idol L.A. finalist voting, competing offers of free coffee at McDonalds and Starbucks, and the birth of the Spears quintuplets.

Funeral services will be held in Las Vegas, since Las Vegas' population was recently vaporized by a similar messaging-wave-event, attributed to rumors of a free Celine Dion / Barbara Streisand concert.