It can be done, but not in CSS. In general-- the exceptions won't help you here-- CSS is about what things look like, not what they say. That is, if you wanted every menu item to be surrounded by decorative doodahs like
*!+!* Menu Item *!+!*
you could do that in CSS. But adding entire slabs of text? Nope, that's a job for php or similar.
I feel your pain. One of these days I will have to bite the bullet and php-ize my own navigation.